Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 664767" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My God, it's true. I was afraid with what she was getting into and how my mom was making her feel so unwanted that she was really a mess. An eating disorder can kill you. She had anorexia, not bulemia. I don't k now what she has now, but it hasn't gone away. It may be better than it was. She also was exposed to, let's just say, diseases. She was experimenting with drugs. She drank. I bought her booze once and she brought up how awful it was that i did it since they were underage (and I agree. It WAS awful of me). However, she'd been drinking before that. I am really sorry I did it though. I don't know what I was thinking, really. But the bigger picture was how my sister was behaving because her mother left her alone on Thanksgivings to see her boyfriend and never paid her any attention when she was in from college and didn't even want to pick her up from the bus or train stations from college. She made her feel worthless. As I type this, I am angry all over again, even though I know my sister got over it. Yet she still engages in risky behavior. I don't know...it's over now. But I thank you for saying why I told her. And of course I know my mother...I'm sure she made it seem as if the reason wasn't that she was neglecting her, and did not want to pay a doctor bill when my sister'd doctor thought she had encephilitis, but because I was baaaaaaaaaaaaad. Well, I haven't told anyone her secrets since as there is no reason to, but she sure has spread my mental illness as though that means one is "crazy." And when I was younger, I did not want anyone to know. I am way out of that phaze now and don't care who knows. Lots of people have depression problems and are on medication. So what? </p><p></p><p>The fact is, I didn't trust HER> I didn't tell her I was in the hospital. My mother told her, ten years later. She likes to spring these surprises on years later. My mom was a piece of work, but I know for a fact I didn't abuse her. Yes, we had verbal fights and she was usually the instigator and I said nothing worse than shse said to me...by my 20's I fought back from abusive talk. But I did not ever strike her or steal from her or hurt her. I can not say the same for her. She did hurt me. A lot. Not physicallyy. With her mouth. </p><p></p><p>Anyhow, thank you again. I had to tell my mother the very worst about Sis, things I would never even mention here, even anonymously because I wanted her to wake up and care. Stupid of me. She didn't. She just used it to make her and me enemies, which is what she wanted. And if Sis can only accept mother's point of view, I can't change that.</p><p></p><p>Nor can she change that I have always been secretly resentful of both of my siblings because they smiled to my face (Sis at least some of the time), but never once told our mother to stop talking trash about their sister, whom they loved. I would have told her to shut up if she'd taslked trash about either of them to me. If I had been the golden child, she would never have spoken about them the way she spoke about me. </p><p></p><p>So it seems we are at a terminal standstill here. </p><p></p><p>Cedar, you always see what I'm afraid to point out. I appreciate it so much, my friend. If you knew the whole story about what my sister got involved in, even with her husband before she married him, and how I stepped in to get them help, you'd REALLY understand. There are some things too painful to write about somebody I once loved more than anyone except for my second husband and my children. You know?</p><p></p><p>Big hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 664767, member: 1550"] My God, it's true. I was afraid with what she was getting into and how my mom was making her feel so unwanted that she was really a mess. An eating disorder can kill you. She had anorexia, not bulemia. I don't k now what she has now, but it hasn't gone away. It may be better than it was. She also was exposed to, let's just say, diseases. She was experimenting with drugs. She drank. I bought her booze once and she brought up how awful it was that i did it since they were underage (and I agree. It WAS awful of me). However, she'd been drinking before that. I am really sorry I did it though. I don't know what I was thinking, really. But the bigger picture was how my sister was behaving because her mother left her alone on Thanksgivings to see her boyfriend and never paid her any attention when she was in from college and didn't even want to pick her up from the bus or train stations from college. She made her feel worthless. As I type this, I am angry all over again, even though I know my sister got over it. Yet she still engages in risky behavior. I don't know...it's over now. But I thank you for saying why I told her. And of course I know my mother...I'm sure she made it seem as if the reason wasn't that she was neglecting her, and did not want to pay a doctor bill when my sister'd doctor thought she had encephilitis, but because I was baaaaaaaaaaaaad. Well, I haven't told anyone her secrets since as there is no reason to, but she sure has spread my mental illness as though that means one is "crazy." And when I was younger, I did not want anyone to know. I am way out of that phaze now and don't care who knows. Lots of people have depression problems and are on medication. So what? The fact is, I didn't trust HER> I didn't tell her I was in the hospital. My mother told her, ten years later. She likes to spring these surprises on years later. My mom was a piece of work, but I know for a fact I didn't abuse her. Yes, we had verbal fights and she was usually the instigator and I said nothing worse than shse said to me...by my 20's I fought back from abusive talk. But I did not ever strike her or steal from her or hurt her. I can not say the same for her. She did hurt me. A lot. Not physicallyy. With her mouth. Anyhow, thank you again. I had to tell my mother the very worst about Sis, things I would never even mention here, even anonymously because I wanted her to wake up and care. Stupid of me. She didn't. She just used it to make her and me enemies, which is what she wanted. And if Sis can only accept mother's point of view, I can't change that. Nor can she change that I have always been secretly resentful of both of my siblings because they smiled to my face (Sis at least some of the time), but never once told our mother to stop talking trash about their sister, whom they loved. I would have told her to shut up if she'd taslked trash about either of them to me. If I had been the golden child, she would never have spoken about them the way she spoke about me. So it seems we are at a terminal standstill here. Cedar, you always see what I'm afraid to point out. I appreciate it so much, my friend. If you knew the whole story about what my sister got involved in, even with her husband before she married him, and how I stepped in to get them help, you'd REALLY understand. There are some things too painful to write about somebody I once loved more than anyone except for my second husband and my children. You know? Big hugs. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
In a totally new place and need perspective? Cedar? Anyone?
Top