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Parent Emeritus
In jail, in the hospital, due to be released soon
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 646539" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>You need to do whatever you need to do to reduce your worry and anxiety over this issue. It sounds like your son is using his bad eye to gas-light you i.e. lighting your emotions by using your worry and concern over his bad eye. Funny how it was of no concern to him when he was out using drugs but now that he is imprisoned it is a "mom, you have to do something" situation NOW for him. Don't fall for it. It is that very same eye that he risks every time he puts unknown chemicals in his body. If it is that drastic, social services will get him the help rather than face public scrutiny that they are the cause of him losing an eye. You are certainly doing the right thing by saying your mantra of staying in the present. In truth you care more for his health than he does - so don't allow hm to use it against you. Perhaps it really will take him losing an eye to stop doing drugs, if so that will be called his "hitting bottom". Not allowing addicts to hit bottom usually prevents them from stopping their addictions. Maybe, just maybe, you not stepping in to fix everything this one time will be enough to send him a message that you are done trying to fix him. We he calls for help, if you must take the calls, listen, just listen but don't offer any help to him. Any situation that holds hope for an addict getting clean is worth whatever it takes to see it through until the end.</p><p>For you I am sorry this is so painful. Unfortunately our difficult child children do not see the inner acid (anxiety) that eats away inside us, but those of us here who have been there, done that offer our support to be an outlet and a sounding board for your fears.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 646539, member: 18366"] You need to do whatever you need to do to reduce your worry and anxiety over this issue. It sounds like your son is using his bad eye to gas-light you i.e. lighting your emotions by using your worry and concern over his bad eye. Funny how it was of no concern to him when he was out using drugs but now that he is imprisoned it is a "mom, you have to do something" situation NOW for him. Don't fall for it. It is that very same eye that he risks every time he puts unknown chemicals in his body. If it is that drastic, social services will get him the help rather than face public scrutiny that they are the cause of him losing an eye. You are certainly doing the right thing by saying your mantra of staying in the present. In truth you care more for his health than he does - so don't allow hm to use it against you. Perhaps it really will take him losing an eye to stop doing drugs, if so that will be called his "hitting bottom". Not allowing addicts to hit bottom usually prevents them from stopping their addictions. Maybe, just maybe, you not stepping in to fix everything this one time will be enough to send him a message that you are done trying to fix him. We he calls for help, if you must take the calls, listen, just listen but don't offer any help to him. Any situation that holds hope for an addict getting clean is worth whatever it takes to see it through until the end. For you I am sorry this is so painful. Unfortunately our difficult child children do not see the inner acid (anxiety) that eats away inside us, but those of us here who have been there, done that offer our support to be an outlet and a sounding board for your fears. [/QUOTE]
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