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In jail, in the hospital, due to be released soon
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 646607" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Complete. Utter. Crap. While I don't know where you live and what the Department of Corrections there is like, I can assure you that its probably similar to ours. And I've worked for ours for over 22 years. Without their own home plan one year from release, they probably wont know where they are going. Even at around six months or so. But if he is mere weeks from release I can assure you that doctor knows exactly where he will be releasing to and what services will be available to him. Hell, needed available services is one of the things used to determine where they will be released to if they don't have their own home plan! I can pretty much guarantee you that his institutional Parole Officer has this information and has passed it on to him, probably in written format. If he doesn't know then its because he hasn't read the paper work and wont go ask his PO. </p><p></p><p>Sorry if this was a bit of a rant but I get SO tired of inmates saying "I don't know what I'm going to do!" but when you ask them what research have they done (yes, they DO have resources available to them for this) and what plans have they made and your answer is the partly shocked, partly blank look that just SCREAMS "WOW! I never thought of that!".</p><p></p><p>Several have stated that he is gaslighting you and that is a very good possibility. Something else to take into consideration is the fact that the closer an inmate gets to release, the more anxiety they experience. Add to this the longer they are incarcerated effectively multiplies the anxiety.</p><p></p><p>That having been said,</p><p> </p><p></p><p>is WONDERFUL advice to follow! You can be caring, nurturing, and supportive without letting him move in with you or disrupting your lives. If he needs a last minute ride to a DR appointment and you're available feel free to give your son a ride. If you're not available, maybe (and I do mean MAYBE! I don't know your circumstances so I'm just giving possibilities!) buy him a bus pass. Hell, call his PO yourself! Let them know whats going on. The more they know about the person, the easier it is for them to deal with them and not be manipulated themselves. They may tell you they don't know where he is going although I SERIOUSLY doubt that as he has probably been on a waiting list for bed space for months. More importantly, they can tell you what services are available at the facility he will be going to and if they cant, they can give you contact information for that facility and you can call them. Believe it or not, we LIKE involved parents as long as its in a healthy way. I have several inmates from years ago that I remember staff members threatening to call their mother when they were acting out. That shut them right up!</p><p></p><p>If nothing else, I would suggest that you do some research on doctor and get as much info as you can. That way you are in a position to either call shenanigans when the difficult child is lying or to help steer him in the right direction if not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 646607, member: 18238"] Complete. Utter. Crap. While I don't know where you live and what the Department of Corrections there is like, I can assure you that its probably similar to ours. And I've worked for ours for over 22 years. Without their own home plan one year from release, they probably wont know where they are going. Even at around six months or so. But if he is mere weeks from release I can assure you that doctor knows exactly where he will be releasing to and what services will be available to him. Hell, needed available services is one of the things used to determine where they will be released to if they don't have their own home plan! I can pretty much guarantee you that his institutional Parole Officer has this information and has passed it on to him, probably in written format. If he doesn't know then its because he hasn't read the paper work and wont go ask his PO. Sorry if this was a bit of a rant but I get SO tired of inmates saying "I don't know what I'm going to do!" but when you ask them what research have they done (yes, they DO have resources available to them for this) and what plans have they made and your answer is the partly shocked, partly blank look that just SCREAMS "WOW! I never thought of that!". Several have stated that he is gaslighting you and that is a very good possibility. Something else to take into consideration is the fact that the closer an inmate gets to release, the more anxiety they experience. Add to this the longer they are incarcerated effectively multiplies the anxiety. That having been said, is WONDERFUL advice to follow! You can be caring, nurturing, and supportive without letting him move in with you or disrupting your lives. If he needs a last minute ride to a DR appointment and you're available feel free to give your son a ride. If you're not available, maybe (and I do mean MAYBE! I don't know your circumstances so I'm just giving possibilities!) buy him a bus pass. Hell, call his PO yourself! Let them know whats going on. The more they know about the person, the easier it is for them to deal with them and not be manipulated themselves. They may tell you they don't know where he is going although I SERIOUSLY doubt that as he has probably been on a waiting list for bed space for months. More importantly, they can tell you what services are available at the facility he will be going to and if they cant, they can give you contact information for that facility and you can call them. Believe it or not, we LIKE involved parents as long as its in a healthy way. I have several inmates from years ago that I remember staff members threatening to call their mother when they were acting out. That shut them right up! If nothing else, I would suggest that you do some research on doctor and get as much info as you can. That way you are in a position to either call shenanigans when the difficult child is lying or to help steer him in the right direction if not. [/QUOTE]
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