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In jail, in the hospital, due to be released soon
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<blockquote data-quote="tishthedish" data-source="post: 647249" data-attributes="member: 17103"><p>Thank you all for your kind replies. It confirmed the truth that was in the back of my consciousness jumping up and down waving and shouting that something is amiss. We still haven't heard from him after his last call about possibly losing his eye. When he was well, a long, long time ago, husband's and my feelings would have been considered and he would have called to tell us not to worry. I smell gas. And if I am wrong and he is going through some horrendous experience I'll face those feelings if they come to pass. </p><p></p><p>Jabber, thank you for your candid information on the reality of what happens in an institution. There is no primer and really a dearth of information on what happens. Unless the incarcerated shares with family, we are at a loss. I'm not sure I want to call and track down doctors or parole officers. It's part of the detachment. I am not able to do anything for him and I don't want to make the emotional investment.</p><p></p><p>It's all hell isn't it? When they're incarcerated, when they're out, when they live with bad people, when they're homeless, when they're in our basement, when they're hospitalized. There are variations in location but each brings a different type stress to our lives that the parents of normal children don't have. Depending on where difficult child 1 was at any period of time had a great bearing on my mood. Any transition period raised the anxiety level, not just for the difficult child, Jabber, but for me too. I feel like I am living my life while holding my breath. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is profound to me, Cedar. Their acts "driven by intention" against the very people who love them most. It's hard to wrap my mind around but I see the truth in it. I think a lot of it is driven because they know it hurts us. It's backwards and sick. </p><p></p><p>husband is asking what I am doing "banging on that thing". I told him I'm working on my novel, but I'm pushing my luck. I just wanted to check in, thank you and let you know that I am getting a handle on the situation and am preparing myself to act in a manner that puts my needs first.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tishthedish, post: 647249, member: 17103"] Thank you all for your kind replies. It confirmed the truth that was in the back of my consciousness jumping up and down waving and shouting that something is amiss. We still haven't heard from him after his last call about possibly losing his eye. When he was well, a long, long time ago, husband's and my feelings would have been considered and he would have called to tell us not to worry. I smell gas. And if I am wrong and he is going through some horrendous experience I'll face those feelings if they come to pass. Jabber, thank you for your candid information on the reality of what happens in an institution. There is no primer and really a dearth of information on what happens. Unless the incarcerated shares with family, we are at a loss. I'm not sure I want to call and track down doctors or parole officers. It's part of the detachment. I am not able to do anything for him and I don't want to make the emotional investment. It's all hell isn't it? When they're incarcerated, when they're out, when they live with bad people, when they're homeless, when they're in our basement, when they're hospitalized. There are variations in location but each brings a different type stress to our lives that the parents of normal children don't have. Depending on where difficult child 1 was at any period of time had a great bearing on my mood. Any transition period raised the anxiety level, not just for the difficult child, Jabber, but for me too. I feel like I am living my life while holding my breath. This is profound to me, Cedar. Their acts "driven by intention" against the very people who love them most. It's hard to wrap my mind around but I see the truth in it. I think a lot of it is driven because they know it hurts us. It's backwards and sick. husband is asking what I am doing "banging on that thing". I told him I'm working on my novel, but I'm pushing my luck. I just wanted to check in, thank you and let you know that I am getting a handle on the situation and am preparing myself to act in a manner that puts my needs first. [/QUOTE]
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