In Loving Memory

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Aug 14, 2008.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    My aunt Janet has had lung cancer for the past 2 years. When she was diagnosed the docs gave her 6 months tops with chemo. She stopped taking the chemo a year ago because it wasn't working. It's been a long battle. Aunt Janet went from a healthy 140 lbs down to 75 lbs.

    Aunt Janet was always fiesty, fun loving, caring, and one of the most giving people I have ever met. I know from reports from family members that she was that way up until the last moment this morning. My Mom called to say she passed on just a short while ago. :sad:

    I feel a need to pour my heart out here with my board family. I did not get to visit with my aunt in her last days during her illness due to circumstances I was unable to control. And I don't know even if I will be able to attend the funeral which is Saturday because my family is in Illinios and I am here in Ohio. I'm hoping that since easy child took the weekend off for the Yard Sale that she will take me and the rest of the family. This aunt was very very close to them as well.

    So since I never got the opportunity to say to aunt Janet all I wanted and needed to say I will do it here. And I hope with all that I am she will see it where she is now and know how much I so dearly loved and cherished her and how she was one of 2 people who made me the person I am today.

    (feel free not to read-this is mostly for me)

    Dearest Aunt Janet

    Grandma was my Mother. But you were my 2nd Mother. Grandma taught me many many valuable things. But you taught me things she couldn't. These were often little things that others would think insignificant, but to me they were valuable lessons I carried on to my own children.

    The most important thing you taught me was to love and accept myself. This was crutial to a child who's own mother held me in comtempt because I am half Indian, living in a community that was extremely racial most especially toward Indian people.

    You were always there when I needed you. Even when you knew that it made you vulnerable to Mom's paranoid vicious attacks. Remember when I was 12 and I'd walked in from school to discover Mom in one of her Psychotic episodes. She had screamed at me that I was Devils Spawn, Evil Incarnate, that she cringed at the sight of me, hated the very thought of me........ Grandma was living with you then because she couldn't live alone. I walked straight back out the door and headed for downtown. It was a 4 mile walk. I knew, even though I didn't know how, that Grandma would be there and you would be with her. And you were. You were livid, do you recall? You took me directly to your house. You didn't even call Mom to say that I was there. I stayed with you 2 months before Mom had the guts to call and ask if Grandma had seen me. Then I stayed another month because you let it be up to ME to return home. You told me I could stay forever. That I didn't deserve to be treated like a dog. You went thru hell with Mom and the family because of that. Because you protected me.

    I'll never forget it. Because of that I stopped being a victim. And not just with Mom, but with others in my life as well.

    The little things all add up to one huge thing. When Grandma came to live with you I spent so much time at your house the neighbors thought you'd adopted me. lol I learned that people actually celebrate holidays other than Cristmas and Thanksgiving. You and Uncle T bought me my very first Easter basket. I was 10 and thrilled to death. I remember the Bunny cakes you made and I now make them for my grandkids. I went trick or treating for the first time when I was 11 while at your house.

    And oh, did you teach me to have fun! No one could have fun like aunt Janet. Remember those rainy days when me and the cousins would be bored to tears? You'd let us upturn all the furniture in the family room and play Fort, Desert isle, all sorts of interesting things. Oh, and the Haunted House you let us make down there one year!! lol You let me get MUDDY! You let us gallavant thru your woods. You taught me how to cook. Personal hygiene. You taught me most of my parenting skills since Grandma's children were all grown.

    You listened to me. No one but Grandma ever listen to me. No matter what I had to say, you really heard it. Even if it hurt you to hear it, and I know now as an adult it often most likely broke your heart.

    When my children came along you loved them the same way. They, too, adore you as I always have. You're not really a great aunt to them, more of another grandparent.

    This is not anywhere near everything. How can I put here a whole lifetime?

    Without you and Grandma there for me I know without a doubt I would have gone down a much more disasterous road in life. I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be the wife and mother I am today.

    And now both of you are gone. But because of you I am strong enough to stand on my own.

    I'm sorry I never got to tell you that you were, and always will be, my Hero.:angel:
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Oh Lisa, I so sorry for your loss! That is a very touching letter. She clearly had a huge impact on your life.

    Ironic, husband had an aunt Janet who passed last year from lung cancer (actually mesothelioma from asbestos exposure).

    I'm glad you have such positive memories of her that will surely help you through your grief.
  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Oh, Lisa...I'm so sorry. She sounded like a wonderful woman. Do your best to enjoy your memories.

  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Your letter made me cry! HUGS. She sounds like she was a wonderful person. You may not have been able to tell her all the things you wanted to before she passed but I bet she knew. She may not have taken the credit you give her but I'm sure she knew. Why? Because of what you said in the letter. If it wasn't for her, you would have lead a completely different life. Because of her though you are living life the way you do and passing it on to your children and grandchildren. You say that she was close with your kids too so she saw it.

    You are a walking tribute to her which will continue for generations through YOUR influence on your kids and grandkids.
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Dear Aunt Janet,

    I figured if Daisy could write you - so could I. See, I'm her friend. I wanted you to let you know that she is a good person. She's caring, sensitive, patient, kind, smart, funny and despite never meeting her in person - you really did a lovely job helping her to become the woman that she is today. I'm as proud to call her my friend as she is to call you her second Mom.

    So when you look down over your little L - just know that she also has a lot of friends looking out for here down here too.

    Thanks -

    Daisy - I am so sorry for your loss. My heart, my arms and my hugs go out to you and your family.

    Hugs & Love
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest


    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your Aunt Janet sounds like a remarkable woman. I'm glad you had her in your life.

    Sending many hugs, my friend.

  7. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    So sorry for your loss. Rest assured, she did read every word of your letter, and she already knew your heart before it was written.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Thank you all so much. ((hugs))

    I'm having a difficult time. easy child can't leave town because she's on call. Which means I can't go to the funeral. :( I keep telling myself I don't want to remember her that way anyway. The last time I saw her she was healthy and the woman I recall so clearly in my mind.

    We'll be sending flowers though, and a card with a letter for my uncle. I don't doubt he will follow her soon. They were one of those inseperable couples.

    And easy child is pushing this yard sale forward. Good reasons. One of which is to keep me busy. But my heart is not in it. I just want to go hide in my room. Instead my house is being trashed with yard sale junk (tons of it). *groan*

    Anyone want/need 2 tvs, an electric guitar, a computer (works well), 6 baby strollers, a playpen, oodles of baby clothes, oodles of super nice toys, a bank desk............................. OMG! :faint:
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, I am so sorry.
    That is a wonderful letter. She sounded like a wonderful person, who helped you heal and become whole. Icing on the cake that she was fun!
  10. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Oh Lisa, I am so sorry. Your Aunt Janet sounds like she was a wonderful person, one that could make a difference in peoples lives. I will keep your family in my thoughts and my prayers.
  11. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    So sorry for your loss. She sounds like a remarkable woman. Many hugs out to you and your family.

  12. Lisa,

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    I have always heard that a life well lived is the best thanks that you can give an elder loved one...
    I'm sure that she already knew about and saw your thanks - a long time ago.
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That is so touching, Lisa! It sounds like one of the most effective ways to teach a young person how to grow up and be a good parent is to let them enjoy being a kid. I'm sorry for your loss, but happy that you have such wonderful memories. It is what others carry on with them in their hearts that makes the ones who are lost live forever....and since you are passing these things on to younger generations, she will live forever...
  14. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    wet sniffly hugs of comfort coming your way
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    What a beautiful letter. She sounds just like you would want an Aunt to be. Both of you were/are truly blessed.
  16. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    What a blessing to have had her in your life. I'm sorry that she is gone.
  17. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Lisa, what a beautiful tribute to your Aunt Janet. Your letter made me cry.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a remarkable woman. And yes, she knows how you feel about her.

    Sending gentle {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
  18. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Lisa, there are special people who will never truly understand the impact they have in our lives. What a blessing they are and how lucky you have been to have her...and how lucky she was to have you.

    I'm so very sorry for your loss.

  19. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful letter-I can see why she is your hero!