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Substance Abuse
In need of wisdom and advice
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 760101" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Copa,</p><p></p><p>Thank you for sharing from your heart. You hit the nail on the head when you said "when a son is forced to depend solely on his mother, it can be infantilizing..." I have been searching my heart to define what I felt and this is in fact it. It feels odd and uncomfortable and rightly so to be responsible for a 32 yr. old man, like as if he's 12 yrs. old again. Even his comments to thank me for my help are something like this in a text..."I've appreciated your company lately, Mom. It's generous of you to take care of me like this."</p><p></p><p>I had to reply to that like it was a hot potato! I tried to let him know I'm not "taking care of him" he has to get out of this on his own. All my efforts to lead him to help are not even working. He's not interested in seeking help, only the comforts I can provide him. That's why I've had to limit the time he spends at my home because I feel it makes his "situation" too comfortable. If he's too comfortable, he will have no need to make changes. Its' very hard for me but I'm trying.</p><p></p><p>I hope your collateral therapy works and that you can find some answers to all this. I look forward to hearing how this works out for you.</p><p></p><p>It is very exhausting as you mentioned. Somedays it feels like I'm schlepping through the mud.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 760101, member: 23405"] Copa, Thank you for sharing from your heart. You hit the nail on the head when you said "when a son is forced to depend solely on his mother, it can be infantilizing..." I have been searching my heart to define what I felt and this is in fact it. It feels odd and uncomfortable and rightly so to be responsible for a 32 yr. old man, like as if he's 12 yrs. old again. Even his comments to thank me for my help are something like this in a text..."I've appreciated your company lately, Mom. It's generous of you to take care of me like this." I had to reply to that like it was a hot potato! I tried to let him know I'm not "taking care of him" he has to get out of this on his own. All my efforts to lead him to help are not even working. He's not interested in seeking help, only the comforts I can provide him. That's why I've had to limit the time he spends at my home because I feel it makes his "situation" too comfortable. If he's too comfortable, he will have no need to make changes. Its' very hard for me but I'm trying. I hope your collateral therapy works and that you can find some answers to all this. I look forward to hearing how this works out for you. It is very exhausting as you mentioned. Somedays it feels like I'm schlepping through the mud. [/QUOTE]
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