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Substance Abuse
In need of wisdom and advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 760103" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is where we are too. I won't accept rent money because I don't want this to continue. But then if I don't accept rent money, that's one more way for him to shirk responsibility. You see, we are standing on terrain that in itself is no good. If they are with us in order to be babies--there is no way to make them be men. The setup is all wrong. It's based on a fatal flaw. Men can't be men, because their Mommys insist. It just doesn't work that way. Oh, I get it. Oh, I see it. But it's such a slippery slope.</p><p></p><p>Speaking based upon my experience with my son, I don't think that they can change "with us." They have to at least begin the process away from us. This shows good faith, but it also allows them to stand alone and to develop a core that is based upon their own choices and efforts. I don't think they can develop a core when we are providing care. and protection. It's too late for that. This is where the helpless' quote of a couple of weeks back is so pertinent. I forget about the particulars, but it had to do with needing to have to push out, push away, do by oneself, in order to fully function, to fully develop and self-realize. If somebody tries to do it for them, the process is stunted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 760103, member: 18958"] This is where we are too. I won't accept rent money because I don't want this to continue. But then if I don't accept rent money, that's one more way for him to shirk responsibility. You see, we are standing on terrain that in itself is no good. If they are with us in order to be babies--there is no way to make them be men. The setup is all wrong. It's based on a fatal flaw. Men can't be men, because their Mommys insist. It just doesn't work that way. Oh, I get it. Oh, I see it. But it's such a slippery slope. Speaking based upon my experience with my son, I don't think that they can change "with us." They have to at least begin the process away from us. This shows good faith, but it also allows them to stand alone and to develop a core that is based upon their own choices and efforts. I don't think they can develop a core when we are providing care. and protection. It's too late for that. This is where the helpless' quote of a couple of weeks back is so pertinent. I forget about the particulars, but it had to do with needing to have to push out, push away, do by oneself, in order to fully function, to fully develop and self-realize. If somebody tries to do it for them, the process is stunted. [/QUOTE]
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