In recovery...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Robinboots, Feb 24, 2010.

  1. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member, that is! Seriously, am feeling a lot better about things and mostly able to concentrate. Still not sleeping, dang it!

    In summation:

    Last Saturday, GFG17 came home, I talked to him and said he MUST follow the rules because he was making me nuts and wearing me out. Which, of course, is his plan, but I was desperate. It's just never-ending, as you all know. So I said he had a choice, the first real-time, real-world decision - stay and follow the rules, or leave. He left.

    Came back a few hours later, had done some laundry, then left again - without his clothes or anything. I didn't hear from him till the next day, and he wouldn't tell me where he was until Tuesday.

    After he left, we found all sorts of interesting things in his car, including condoms and motel receipt. Nice. More and more stuff came to light - of course, he had told me that things would be fine if *I* would stop finding out the bad stuff. Whatever.

    On Monday I talked to his DJO - naturally, the judge is out-of-town all week, but she wrote up a probation violation - turns out he was 100+ miles away, staying with a so-called adult, so I least I knew he was relatively safe. He texted me on Tuesday, after talking to his DJO, that he was coming home that night. I had more convos with the DJO, and with my lawyer. I was NOT looking forward to difficult child coming home and hanging out with me all week until the judge returns. He hasn't had his medications - Risperdone - since Sat. morning. Of course, any violence or threats and we'll immediately call the police.

    THEN he texted and asked if he could stay there till Saturday, when he could get a ride home. Um, call your DJO, kiddo, and ask her - I am NOT making this call. So that's what he's doing. No idea if he called her or not, 'cause I really needed a break from talking about him, ya know?

    And yes, there are options - if the court will utilize them. He could go back to detention; he could go to DYS; if "acts like a fool", to quote his DJO, and the police are called, he'll go to big boy jail because he's 17 now. Even so, because he is NOT 18 - not for 9 months and 13 days - we are responsible and have to take him in. No matter what he does. Basically, in our state, kids can do whatever the heck they want and we have to let them in.

    So, I'm recovering from all the drama the last 4 days. Writing again, taking care of the rest of the family, but not really sleeping well. Guess that's not so bad, considering!
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry things are so rough right now. At least there is a path right now, something will happen within the week. I hope it is in difficult children best interest.
  3. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Oh happy day!! GUESS what I just found? State statutes which say:

    A minor child CAN BE EMANCIPATED. Son of a gun! Went into effect last August. Well, of course, it doesn't use that particular word, but it says a minor can enter into contracts for housing, banking, car ownership, etc., IF a parent expressly states or even implies that it's OKAY!

    I am positively giddy. Well, okay, it might be the caffeine and the adrenaline rush after discovering yet another bank account that difficult child has opened which will likely be overdrawn by Monday, when the judge gets back.

    But still!!
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wonderful news. At least you wont be held holding the bag.

    That reminds me of the time one of those title loan folks called me because Cory had done one of those loans through them. In another state even!

    Granted he was 18 at the time. However, the car didnt even run! He just had the title. His girlfriend at the time, (now baby momma), took him down and they gave him 300 bucks on the title alone. Never saw the car, never asked him if he had a job, nothing.

    Then they called me wanting to know how to get the money back or the car. I just laughed at them. I told them they were idiots. He was on disability, the car was in the junkyard, and they were out of luck. They should have made sure the car actually existed before loaning money on the title. The woman actually agreed with me. LOL. I noticed later that the commercial changed to say bring your CAR and title
  5. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    Well, I could still be liable - because he's NOT "emancipated" and he's still in my care and custody. Or he would be if he hadn't taken off last Saturday. Or something like that.

    Didn't help, I'm sure, that I've been taking hormones for the last ten days, lol!

    I called him today, asked when tomorrow he'd be home; he said in the morning. Supposed to call when he leaves up there, so I should have a couple hours' notice. "Should" being the key word here.

    The more thought I give this, the more I believe the judge will walk into his office on Monday and say something along the lines of WTH? This kid is causing trouble AGAIN?? And put out a warrant. We'll see. I'm thinking, based on his behavior, that the judge is going to want him locked up for a bit.

    The law I discovered is more for "good" kids who are in "bad" situations, not "bad" kids who keep blowing it, ya know?
  6. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    After saying he'd be home this morning, he just now, at 8pm, walked in the door. husband let him in, he sat down in the LR with us - we're watching a movie - and hasn't said a word. He spent the day texting or not, answering or not, calling or not, and lying about everything: where he was, who he was with. Has been gone a whole week. I just hope we can make it till Monday.

    And no, I have no idea what to say to him or do or anything.
  7. Robinboots

    Robinboots New Member

    So we made it about an hour. After the movie at 9, he'd been home 1.25 hours total. Went to his room, came out and starting biotching at me. husband got really, really pizzed but only slammed his fist into the desk a few times - OUR desk, mind you. difficult child kept saying "give me my medications and I'll leave". I gave him one. He kept on and on. Refused to go to his room. Kept cursing and going off on me and husband too - name-calling, all of it. I could not make him budge. He kept on about his medications, so I threw them out the door and said, fine, there they are. He got his coat, picked them up, and left.

    I don't know what else to do.