In search of a dog for difficult child.........

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Andy, Jul 5, 2010.

  1. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I posted the following to "In Tears...." when Mamaof5 had a situation that she needed to tell her husband about and did not know how he would take it: (update following this post)

    "Last Monday, difficult child and I did something behind husband's back. It was unbelievable the guilt I felt as well as the fear of what would happen when husband arrived home which we thought would be Friday night. The thing we did was put $$$ down on a goldendoodle (very hard to find in our area). So, Tuesday night, difficult child and I had a "we may not be getting this" conversation which really upset difficult child but he handled it very well. I am pretty sure he knows where I am coming from even if it is not fair that he does not get a dog. I told difficult child that if husband says "no" than we just can not do it. I was shaking on our way home Monday and so worked up all week. I do lots of things without consulting him but this was a biggie since both of us had pretty much agreed neither of us ever wanted a dog and this would be a medium to large size one. He came home Thursday night and being the numbers guy he is, he was angry that we put $$ down without consulting him (I had told difficult child not to tell him we put $$ down, just that we had found one). I told husband to forget about the $$ - It was my $$ and if I loose it no big deal - bad lesson learned - he needed to let us know if difficult child could have a dog or not - if someone handed the puppy to us for free could we keep it?

    So, now husband is looking at fencing for the back yard and trying to find something cheaper. Everything he brings up sheds. I think we will be getting this goldendoodle (very low shedding) whose mom is a goldendoodle and dad is a poodle. I am still uncertain but difficult child really does need a dog of his own. (diva puppy belongs to Diva)

    difficult child is working out names - right now it may be Akita."


    I am aware that the dog will not be totally non-shedding but still should not shed as much as most medium to large size dogs. I feel good that difficult child will do the brushing that is needed and we will keep her groomed.

    I have decided against a terrier (the easiest to find low to non-shedding medium size dog) because of their behaviors. They are too territorial and protective. I want a dog that is easy going and will not be scary toward the neighborhood kids or want to fight the neighborhood dogs.

    This is the year to get another dog if we get one at all. We can not wait another 2 years for the possibility of diva puppy moving out with Diva. In 2 years difficult child will be 15 and hopefully will have a job. He will not have the extra time to work with a puppy but I am certain he will remain devoted in the daily care of the dog. At that time, he will need a dog that has been trained (or atleast has had two years of training - training will be ongoing?) and used to the workings of our family.

    difficult child has proven himself to be able to care for a puppy. He is so devoted to diva puppy and would love to spend hours working on training a puppy of his own. This will be a great Summer project for him.

    Before husband arrived home, I had come to terms with my feelings and made it clear to difficult child that if husband absolutely says "no" then we will abide by his wishes.

    husband is working on getting a fence in the back yard and difficult child is certain we will get the goldendoodle.

    I am still so torn. I really don't want another dog. However, I see how difficult child is around dogs and I know it will be very good for him. He does need the companionship that a dog brings and he is old enough to be in charge of its care (with a little help from time to time).

    It is amazing what we will do for our kids sometimes! This is a HUGE sacrifice for husband and me.
  2. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    You are smart about the terrier. We had a yorkie and she was extremely territorial, not friendly with many and not a good kid dog. Some of it was due to the fact that we got her before we had kids. We just got a puppy in April...she's a mutt. She is fabulous with my kids. The larger dogs can handle the playfulness of my kids. Goldendoodles are large, not medium....but have a fabulous temperment and are very playful. Good luck with her....I'm sure difficult child will flourish with taking care of her. Sometimes, giving them the extra responsibilities give them confidence.
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I hope you get the dog! We searched and searched for a dog for our family, mostly due to difficult child's behaviors. We were told that animals tend to help difficult child's cope better. So, because I am a bad asthmatic and a nut about my floors, we had to find the right dog. Turned out we went with a cairn terrier.

    I know, I hear the bad rap everyone's giving the terriers about their territorial stuff, etc. But I have never loved a dog (we had many when I was a kid, even though I was allergic, my mom insisted) as much as I love my THREE terriers! Two female cairns and a female yorkie. We started with a male cairn and he was very territorial and a little mean even, and he had his own little difficult child stuff going on. We eventually had to put him down for health reasons, but the two females are amazing! No territorial stuff going on, except maybe with the yorkie - she thinks who she is and well, we've spoiled her rotten, so it's part our fault. The terriers do tend to sometimes take a bit longer to train, but they housetrain rather quickly I thought.

    The best part about cairns is that they can be rough and tumble and play like a big dog (in fact, they believe they ARE the big dog), but yet they also like to cuddle and get belly rubs and lay by your feet (or in your lap, which they prefer). They also have very low shedding. They have two coats and the under coat needs to be 'hand stripped', which means basically the hair gets pulls gently out. Regular brushing takes care of this.

    So, that's my cairn terrier defense and infomercial - reconsider the terriers! They are so much fun!!! lol~
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Our county case manager has even acknowledged the role animals have played in Wee's development and progress. Tho his behavior at times warranted removing them all, she and I and several others think they have been a huge help for Wee.

    Ironically, we have a terrier, too. But we shopped at the local shelter for grown dogs and found a good fit for Wee that way. He's not territorial or aggressive at all, but he is every bit as hyper as Wee...people just laugh when we say "that's Wee's dog". They always comment that they say you and your pet end up being alike...

    I hope you get the dog.