Well, its finally going to happen...after many years of enabling, from grandparents to us, his parents, my husband is kicking our 20 year old son to the curb when he gets home. He lost his job because of drug testing(weed) and he could have saved his job had he went through drug rehab classes, but refused and just walked away so they terminated him.(I have been on here before, just jogging your memory if you don't remember my post). He had been living with us, rent free, no job, eat what he wanted, did some chores he was asked to do on a regular basis, washed his own clothes, worked out at the gym that his grandma paid for each month. Over all, he always said thank you, did his chores, was pleasant to our friends, but smokes weed on a regular basis. His room smells of it and time after time, my husband told him he did not want it in our home. My son said we were too uptight and that it would be legal soon and he wished we weren't so negative about it. We know he smokes to compensate for issues with his ADD, but we still do not wish to have it anywhere near us, especially when he has a 13 year old brother here. My husband hated the fact when he comes home from work everyday and sees that my son still hasn't found a job or even looking, but has time to lay around, or hang out with friends all day and get high and drink..and here my husband is working long hours just so he can support his habit. He seemed high all the time. He gave him a time limit to find a job and when he didn't, my husband said he had to start charging him rent. My son had a fit saying, he don't have the money. But we are suspecting now, that he is selling a little weed to get his for free and have some pocket money to have. We have no proof, but I just feel it. My 13 year old says hes getting robbed of a childhood because its always about his brother and he feels left out because we put so much energy and time into our oldest, we expect our youngest to understand, but he is frustrated and is better when his brother is not here...understandable, we all are. When he is here, I don't sleep and my husband is stressed and full of anxiety...doesn't sleep good. Last night, my son came home drunk, and higher than I ever seen him. My husband tried to reason and talk to him about him going down this road to destruction. This weed has a hold on him and he has no motivation to get a job or go to school like he promised not only us, but himself. He made good grades in high school and could be whatever he wants if he only would grow up, get help for his addiction, and turn his life around. My husband told me this morning that he will no longer sit back and allow this to go on and that he is telling him after work today, that he needs to find somewhere else to live and this time for GOOD..until he wants to get help. My husband told him that these friends of his don't care a hoot about him and that his family are the only ones who care. The grandparents are not allowed to take him in, my husband warned them that they will not or he will not talk to his parents, and they are on board with it. I'm his mom, I sat with him last night after his father went to bed. I told him about my fears and how I pray for him every day and that he is on a downward spiral and that we can not help him and only he can help himself, he's got to want to change, but he does'nt want to quit smoking...its his life. He turned to me and told me that he loved us, and we know he does, but we can not continue to have him turn our home upside down and what kind of parents are we if we continue to make it easy for him to self destruct? Tonight will be difficult, I am his mom, think its more difficult for us moms, but I am letting go and pray that he sees that life isn't greener on the other side, and this type of life he is living, just isn't going to work. I know he really don't have anywhere to stay, maybe a night here or there, but no one is going to let him live with them. His grandma asked me, '"what if by you guys throwing him out, he will get worse and do harder drugs or get desperate for food or money and turn to life of crime?"..I told her don't she know we have already thought of that, but what other choices do we have?