Indecisive difficult child's make me wanna scream.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Okay, I know this little vent pales in comparison to some of the truly heavy stuff many of you are battling right now. And I apologize for the whine right up front. I'm just struggling overall lately and perhaps my lack of patience is just another sign of my own deeper problem.

    But I digress!

    difficult child 1 complained about his shoes bothering his feet the other day. We bought him two new pairs for school at the beginning of September, and he will only wear one of them saying that the other pair does not have any support and they hurt his feet. Fine. I figure we could go look for another pair since he really shouldn't be wearing the same pair day in and day out for both school and P.E. Besides, they are "skate" shoes and don't have a lot of cushion in them like he would need for PE activities.

    So tonight husband tells difficult child 1 to go out with me to shop for shoes -- there's a store I have in mind since they're having a sale right now and I have an additional discount coupon I can use.

    We left around 6:50PM and got to the store by 7:15pm. We go inside to the shoe department. I start looking at shoes and price tags and find a pair that's in our budget range and ask difficult child 1 if he likes them. No, he doesn't. I find another pair. Nope, doesn't like those either. Okay, can you tell me just WHAT you don't like about them? Well, no not really. I heave a heavy sigh and move down the row looking for more possibilities. By now, difficult child 1 is wandering off to look at some electronics out in the main aisle. Helllllooooooo! We are here for SHOES. I direct him back to the SHOES. He just looks at me with this goofy grin like it's some kind of funny game now.

    So I told him I would sit down and he could look for shoes since he couldn't tell me what he wanted. Nope. He doesn't want to look for shoes now. AAAARRRGGGGH! :grrr:

    I got really ticked and said we were leaving and that when he finally decided he was ready to look for shoes, he could let his dad know because I was done. And we left, barely 10 minutes after arriving in the store.

    Probably a rash thing to do, and I couldn't help but fume the rest of the way home. :mad: And of course, he was Mr. Apologetic, but I felt like it was more a reaction to my being mad at him than for truly understanding the pain he was being in my behind.
  2. bearded one

    bearded one New Member

    Yep, been there had my kid do that too. I'm learning to let him set the agenda. No shoe shopping until he gets a bee in his bonnet about needing shoes and really does need them. Then, and not until then, will we wander out in search of new shoes. I've wasted way to much time on things like this!
  3. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    It's the age coupled with the (non-existent?) attention span of a difficult child. :whiteflag:
  4. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    Vent away, it always helps doesn't it!!
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    GCV...a least you didnt actually melt down and throw shoes in the store. I did. LOL.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I tthink Heather hit the nail on the head. difficult child started getting like this just before his incarceration. I think part of the indecisiveness was him trying to decide if other kids at school would think the item of clothing/shoes werre cool. LOL! So, I set a time limit before we went in the store.
  7. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I guess it was a good thing that I had to wear orthopedic shoes through out those years.

    I can remember being literally STUNNED when we moved to the suburbs and suddenly clothing was such a big deal.

    I was fine with my totally uncool jeans and shirts, but I remember being upset that I couldn't wear the Adidas running shoes all the other kids wore. It wasn't a money thing but rather that they didn't come in narrow widths.

    I actually still have enough Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) leftover that I prefer pre-owned clothing that is softer than the new stuff.
  8. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I can't even count the number of times I've said, "That's it, we're done!", and headed out of the store. Wear the shoes with the holes, wear the same clothes three days in a row...whatever.

    Your BS tolerance level must be way higher than mine.
  9. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    This weekend I made husband take Son shoe shopping for the reasons you just vented about. Plus, he always hates what I like or picks something way beyond my budget.

    I just didn't want to deal with it.
  10. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yes, it does help to vent and know that you've all been there done that. :)

    Janet, LOL, I limit my personal meltdowns to the privacy of our own home :p Plenty more room for hurling stuff there anyway!

    Mary, unfortunately, I did develop a high tolerance for BS after growing up with the kind of abusive dad that I had. :( Silver lining to everything, huh?

    This is very typical of difficult child. Given an opportunity to actually shop for something he really WANTS, he will take for-e-ver to make a choice. I'm feeling more and more suspicious that he has some Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) traights in there. I have had to resort to time limits and then we've even left the store with his choice still unmade. Which isn't a big deal to me when it's something like a toy that he's buying with his own money and doesn't really need anyway, Know what I mean?? I should have done what I told husband I wanted to do earlier in the day when we were shopping for shoes for husband -- just pick out a pair for him and take them home! And you know what, he probably would have been just fine with whatever I chose.

    easy child is also hard to shop for, but in the opposite way. I refuse to buy any clothing for her unless she has seen it, tried it on, and enthusiastically approved it. Which doesn't need to happen too often, thankfully, thanks to 6 older female cousins and their hand-me-downs! :)
  11. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    So ask me why my board name is timer lady? The tweedles drove me nuts transitioning, deciding, etc. Hence the timers I wore (one on each collar) for tweedles dee & dum.

    Rant away....I hate shopping with kt or wm. They make me nuts. One who cannot decide; the other who thinks I'm made of money & owe him the world because he can't live here.