So, my 10 year old son drives me insane, and I looked up ODD, and the only thing that seems to be missing is his photo. He has not been diagnosed with any disorders...yet, but he is definitely suffering from something, maybe even just bad parenting. I don't know where to begin and I'm not even quite sure what I intend to accomplish by posting this. Maybe you can all anonymously tell me what a horrible mother I am, or alternately, that I'm just like you. So I guess my intent is to find out just how far out of the norm I am as a mother to a difficult child. I don't know how to effectively teach him how to control his own anger and frustrations when I can't seem to control my own. Tonight, he wanted to have a battle of wills over a homework assignment (which has been a regular issue with him lately), but it was a 2 page report and I wasn't about to let him blow it off. I'm not even going to go into why it wasn't done previously, but the point is, I kept him up until about 12:45am to finish it because he wanted to moan and groan and crumple his paper and throw it. Anything but do the work, and the more I insisted he do it, the more defiant he got. It definitely didn't start this way. I was actually looking forward to helping him and it started out ok, but about a half hour into it he started getting frustrated, difficult, and increasingly defiant. Now it's when he does this that I have a tendency to completely lose it and become, as I call her, "Demon Mom". First I insist that he does what he needs to do, make threats. If he persists in his defiance, I get louder, more demanding. Eventually I scream at the top of my lungs, spank him and if he doesn't break down in tears, he usually ends up earning himself another. Sometimes, I want to beat him, but I never have, and I thought I never would, but "thought" has turned to "hope". I have, as I call it, spanked the cr*p out of him, but really, it's just several pretty good swats. I have never injured him more than causing temporary pain. But the point is, how the heck do I teach him how to control himself if I can't do the same? It usually takes a while to push me to this point, unless I'm already stressed out. I usually keep it together pretty well, but he seems to enjoy wearing me down. And how do I blame a 10 year old? Isn't he the product of his parents and environment? I can't escape at least partial blame for this. I know I'm not helping in the long run even when I eventually get the results I want now. Like tonight, after he saw me go crazy, which I will not detail here due to shame and fear, he broke down and did what he needed to do. Ok, so maybe my question is this: Have any of you found yourselves screaming at the top of your lungs, spanking hard enough to make your fingers throb like they're broken (over clothes of course, and that's probably why it hurts me so bad. Darn cargo pants pockets), completely losing your mind, then feeling like the world's cr*ppiest parent afterward, or is it just me, and I should remove myself from this earth? Give it to me straight...I need to hear it. Don't be polite. Thank you in advance, and forgive me if what I've said about my parenting disgusts you. It disgusts me.