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Infectious Madness by Harriet Washington
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 670484" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I will have to read The Cliff notes. The woman in the clip is Stella, right? I am not familiar with Blanche. I will watch the movie. I will order it from the library and watch the movie, to see what this is all about. I am fascinated by the ways women are seen, and by the ways men are seen, and by the way it is forever how the woman values that determines how men are valued, though it seems to be just the other way.</p><p></p><p>I read something once that indicated that though it is men who go to war, it is women who require it. </p><p></p><p>Now, women are going to war, too.</p><p></p><p>Which has nothing to do with the subject at hand.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Copa posted to us once that humans do not begin the process of self-actualization until around the age of thirty. It seems to me at this point in my life that the more we break, and the more we get it that we don't already know and begin truly to listen, that is when we are capable of committing to loving another person for the person they are. When we are young, we are so certain the other person, even, at least in my case probably, my children, are who we expected them to be. (Remember how sure we were that we knew everything, when we were young?!?) </p><p></p><p>For me, and this may only be true of me, as I let go of the roles, those automatic responses behind which real life happens, I am ~ I don't know. Something essential is different. I am surprised it doesn't show.</p><p></p><p>Maybe, it does.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think maybe it is that fear of how chaotically unpredictable everything is, is projected onto us because we are not strong enough to project it onto them. </p><p></p><p>I think it (misogyny) is a human enough thing that we would be doing it to them if they were not doing it to us. The harm in misogyny, as is true of every kind of contempt, is when the object of ridicule or contempt comes to believe it of herself.</p><p></p><p>Or of himself.</p><p></p><p>We discussed racism in that light too Leafy, on FOO Chronicles. Racism is a form of misogyny, in the shape of it, I mean. In the unreasoning intensity and prevalence of it, to the point that we don't see or question it.</p><p></p><p>It's very subtle, really.</p><p></p><p>But devastating, for those who come to believe, about themselves, precepts devised to serve something having nothing to do with them. Which is, when you think about it, pretty much what happens in dysfunctional family systems.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I love this story.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>My D H is decent like that, too. It has to do with valuing integrity, and what the man sold his integrity out to, I think. (Okay. I have not seen the movie or read The Cliffies. I don't know what I am talking about, here. As this has not stopped me in the past, I will continue.)</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Is Marlon Stanley Kowalski?</p><p></p><p>That was a little beefcake, right there.</p><p></p><p>I know. </p><p></p><p>Bad Cedar.</p><p></p><p>I had best read only the Cliffies, and not watch the movie at all, then. It would be terrible to watch the whole movie just so I could see Marlon Brando with his shirt off again. </p><p></p><p>I swear, that man looked nothing like that in Apocalypse Now or The Godfather.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is what motivates us as well, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>We have been at this for some months, now. Before that, on Parent Emeritus. Twice, for me. There is something that works, when we sift through our memories and feeling states and belief systems at our own paces and work through what we've found in the supportive environment we have created for ourselves, here.</p><p></p><p>This site is an amazing place. </p><p></p><p>I am glad you found it too, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>My D H does not like my sudden fascination with, or all the time I spend, on the computer either. I do note progress ~ almost breathtaking in the pace of it progress, in my own process. Serenity had begun before I did, and went through many of the same kinds of emotions in her healing that I did at a later time. Copa, who joined later, is following those same pathways. Each of us very different women, each of us hurt or cherished in different ways and yet, somehow, the process is working beautifully for each of us.</p><p></p><p>So, welcome, Leafy.</p><p></p><p>Serenity is Somewhere Out There. She has been in a car accident, we have recently learned. She will be back with us soon, I believe. It works best when we are all here together. In that way, we seem able to keep the emphasis on our own healing through how the others of us are thinking and seeing. One keys something in the others; the feedback changes us all.</p><p></p><p>It has been a good and valuable process for us. For anyone reading along, please join us. In its anonymity, the site allows a precision-cut honesty, if we are brave.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Ha! That is exactly my D H, too.</p><p></p><p>He has come to hate the clicking of the keys. Copa posts that M is saying the same things about the clicking keys.</p><p></p><p>You guys are just too fascinating.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 670484, member: 17461"] I will have to read The Cliff notes. The woman in the clip is Stella, right? I am not familiar with Blanche. I will watch the movie. I will order it from the library and watch the movie, to see what this is all about. I am fascinated by the ways women are seen, and by the ways men are seen, and by the way it is forever how the woman values that determines how men are valued, though it seems to be just the other way. I read something once that indicated that though it is men who go to war, it is women who require it. Now, women are going to war, too. Which has nothing to do with the subject at hand. :O) Copa posted to us once that humans do not begin the process of self-actualization until around the age of thirty. It seems to me at this point in my life that the more we break, and the more we get it that we don't already know and begin truly to listen, that is when we are capable of committing to loving another person for the person they are. When we are young, we are so certain the other person, even, at least in my case probably, my children, are who we expected them to be. (Remember how sure we were that we knew everything, when we were young?!?) For me, and this may only be true of me, as I let go of the roles, those automatic responses behind which real life happens, I am ~ I don't know. Something essential is different. I am surprised it doesn't show. Maybe, it does. I think maybe it is that fear of how chaotically unpredictable everything is, is projected onto us because we are not strong enough to project it onto them. I think it (misogyny) is a human enough thing that we would be doing it to them if they were not doing it to us. The harm in misogyny, as is true of every kind of contempt, is when the object of ridicule or contempt comes to believe it of herself. Or of himself. We discussed racism in that light too Leafy, on FOO Chronicles. Racism is a form of misogyny, in the shape of it, I mean. In the unreasoning intensity and prevalence of it, to the point that we don't see or question it. It's very subtle, really. But devastating, for those who come to believe, about themselves, precepts devised to serve something having nothing to do with them. Which is, when you think about it, pretty much what happens in dysfunctional family systems. I love this story. My D H is decent like that, too. It has to do with valuing integrity, and what the man sold his integrity out to, I think. (Okay. I have not seen the movie or read The Cliffies. I don't know what I am talking about, here. As this has not stopped me in the past, I will continue.) :O) Is Marlon Stanley Kowalski? That was a little beefcake, right there. I know. Bad Cedar. I had best read only the Cliffies, and not watch the movie at all, then. It would be terrible to watch the whole movie just so I could see Marlon Brando with his shirt off again. I swear, that man looked nothing like that in Apocalypse Now or The Godfather. This is what motivates us as well, Leafy. We have been at this for some months, now. Before that, on Parent Emeritus. Twice, for me. There is something that works, when we sift through our memories and feeling states and belief systems at our own paces and work through what we've found in the supportive environment we have created for ourselves, here. This site is an amazing place. I am glad you found it too, Leafy. My D H does not like my sudden fascination with, or all the time I spend, on the computer either. I do note progress ~ almost breathtaking in the pace of it progress, in my own process. Serenity had begun before I did, and went through many of the same kinds of emotions in her healing that I did at a later time. Copa, who joined later, is following those same pathways. Each of us very different women, each of us hurt or cherished in different ways and yet, somehow, the process is working beautifully for each of us. So, welcome, Leafy. Serenity is Somewhere Out There. She has been in a car accident, we have recently learned. She will be back with us soon, I believe. It works best when we are all here together. In that way, we seem able to keep the emphasis on our own healing through how the others of us are thinking and seeing. One keys something in the others; the feedback changes us all. It has been a good and valuable process for us. For anyone reading along, please join us. In its anonymity, the site allows a precision-cut honesty, if we are brave. Ha! That is exactly my D H, too. He has come to hate the clicking of the keys. Copa posts that M is saying the same things about the clicking keys. You guys are just too fascinating. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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