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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 6615" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Hi Quanya. You've been given some good advice already. Stick around, there is more. And once we know more, we can help even more. Meanwhile, read other posts, you may be able to see connections in some places. We all support each other because as we get more used to each other we get a broader understanding of how our own experience can be used to help someone else. You may feel right now that you have nothing left inside you; it is there. We'll help you find it again.</p><p></p><p>If you read my signature below, you will see what we've been dealing with in our family. Your daughter may not have the same specific diagnosis as my kids, but there are sufficient similarities for me to suggest consideration of some possibilities.</p><p></p><p>First, someone else has already suggested you get her professionally assessed (and not by the school district). Take along what you already have on her, it can keep your costs down, but I think the school district already has made up its collective mind and not in your daughter's favour. An independent professional opinion is worth its weight in gold, or platinum.</p><p></p><p>Second, get hold of "The Explosive Child" (already recommended). It may help.</p><p></p><p>Third, before you actually get to the specialist's appointment, go online to <a href="http://www.childbrain.com" target="_blank">www.childbrain.com</a> and browse the site. I would recommend yo do the online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. Even if it's not Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), the printout should be taken to the specialist also, to help give him some ideas of what you are concerned about. It's hard to remember it all during the first consult. The Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire is not officially diagnostic, it's only a tool, one of many. A professional will take it into account along with his own professional opinion. </p><p>You may find other notes there which jog something in y our memory which you could also use to talk to the doctor.</p><p></p><p>Fourth, begin keeping a diary. Start a communication diary between home and school. It helps you to pass useful info on to the school and it's better for them to write down their concerns as they happen instead of ringing you every afternoon. The book should be seen not only as a vent for both teacher and parent, but also a tool to promote effective and fast communication to assist in the best management of the child both at home and at school.</p><p>You don't need to write much - you just put in what you need as necessary. For example, "she had a bad night, didn't sleep well, she may be more irritable than usual," and the teacher may reply, "she actually had a fairly good morning, then she had an altercation with another student. It turns out the other student had been provoking her, but she has to learn to not hit back. We'll try and keep the pair of kids apart, we're stepping up the supervision."</p><p>This book helped us quickly identify a number of problems which relying on chats with the teacher wouldn't have done. For example, with us, the teacher wrote, "He's been difficult today, he was yesterday also. Very rigid, didn't cope well with some noisy building work outside the classroom and shouted at me and the aide." I would then read back a few days, maybe find that he had three days in a row with poor behaviour and no apparent trigger. I learned that this was often an early warning sign for difficult child 3 developing a cold, or cutting a new tooth. Once the fever hit, his behaviour improved. As he was recovering, he was worse again.</p><p>By allowing honesty with no recriminations, you are also supplying a valuable safety valve for the teacher.</p><p></p><p>A communication diary can also become a useful record for your own purposes. The book would travel in difficult child 3's schoolbag, with parents and teachers being responsible for the book, not the student.</p><p></p><p>You say your daughter is bright, she is reading above her age - is she possibly also hyperlexic? It might be something else to consider.</p><p></p><p>The noises she makes - we went through this with difficult child 1 and for years tried to discipline him out of it. We finally learnt that he simply couldn't help it, and by punishing him for things he had poor control over, we were setting him up for failure, poor self-esteem and the belief that he was a bad kid by nature.</p><p></p><p>A professional assessment and diagnosis would make it easier for you to identify what she can control, and what she can't. She shouldn't be punished for what she can't control.</p><p></p><p>Once you have a specific diagnosis you will be able to get her more help and with good support and recognition, problems should ease. And I'm appalled at the principal who refused to take her - there should be a school with services suitable to her needs, where you can send her.</p><p></p><p>Keep us posted on how you're getting on.</p><p></p><p>And welcome!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 6615, member: 1991"] Hi Quanya. You've been given some good advice already. Stick around, there is more. And once we know more, we can help even more. Meanwhile, read other posts, you may be able to see connections in some places. We all support each other because as we get more used to each other we get a broader understanding of how our own experience can be used to help someone else. You may feel right now that you have nothing left inside you; it is there. We'll help you find it again. If you read my signature below, you will see what we've been dealing with in our family. Your daughter may not have the same specific diagnosis as my kids, but there are sufficient similarities for me to suggest consideration of some possibilities. First, someone else has already suggested you get her professionally assessed (and not by the school district). Take along what you already have on her, it can keep your costs down, but I think the school district already has made up its collective mind and not in your daughter's favour. An independent professional opinion is worth its weight in gold, or platinum. Second, get hold of "The Explosive Child" (already recommended). It may help. Third, before you actually get to the specialist's appointment, go online to [url="http://www.childbrain.com"]www.childbrain.com[/url] and browse the site. I would recommend yo do the online Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire. Even if it's not Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD), the printout should be taken to the specialist also, to help give him some ideas of what you are concerned about. It's hard to remember it all during the first consult. The Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) questionnaire is not officially diagnostic, it's only a tool, one of many. A professional will take it into account along with his own professional opinion. You may find other notes there which jog something in y our memory which you could also use to talk to the doctor. Fourth, begin keeping a diary. Start a communication diary between home and school. It helps you to pass useful info on to the school and it's better for them to write down their concerns as they happen instead of ringing you every afternoon. The book should be seen not only as a vent for both teacher and parent, but also a tool to promote effective and fast communication to assist in the best management of the child both at home and at school. You don't need to write much - you just put in what you need as necessary. For example, "she had a bad night, didn't sleep well, she may be more irritable than usual," and the teacher may reply, "she actually had a fairly good morning, then she had an altercation with another student. It turns out the other student had been provoking her, but she has to learn to not hit back. We'll try and keep the pair of kids apart, we're stepping up the supervision." This book helped us quickly identify a number of problems which relying on chats with the teacher wouldn't have done. For example, with us, the teacher wrote, "He's been difficult today, he was yesterday also. Very rigid, didn't cope well with some noisy building work outside the classroom and shouted at me and the aide." I would then read back a few days, maybe find that he had three days in a row with poor behaviour and no apparent trigger. I learned that this was often an early warning sign for difficult child 3 developing a cold, or cutting a new tooth. Once the fever hit, his behaviour improved. As he was recovering, he was worse again. By allowing honesty with no recriminations, you are also supplying a valuable safety valve for the teacher. A communication diary can also become a useful record for your own purposes. The book would travel in difficult child 3's schoolbag, with parents and teachers being responsible for the book, not the student. You say your daughter is bright, she is reading above her age - is she possibly also hyperlexic? It might be something else to consider. The noises she makes - we went through this with difficult child 1 and for years tried to discipline him out of it. We finally learnt that he simply couldn't help it, and by punishing him for things he had poor control over, we were setting him up for failure, poor self-esteem and the belief that he was a bad kid by nature. A professional assessment and diagnosis would make it easier for you to identify what she can control, and what she can't. She shouldn't be punished for what she can't control. Once you have a specific diagnosis you will be able to get her more help and with good support and recognition, problems should ease. And I'm appalled at the principal who refused to take her - there should be a school with services suitable to her needs, where you can send her. Keep us posted on how you're getting on. And welcome! Marg [/QUOTE]
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