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Parent Emeritus
input on this yukky teacher situation please
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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 715374" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>If this were my Difficult Stepson, I would strive to handle the situation rationally and not emotionally (not saying I would succeed, just that I would strive, LOL).</p><p></p><p>Speaking only for my situation, DS is very hardheaded and thin-skinned, so we pick our battles with him very carefully. The last big battle we fought with him, over school attendance and medication compliance, resulted in a year-long estrangement which just ended a few months ago. I don't know Ferb obviously, but I think it's worthwhile to consider how he will react to whatever choice you make, and if those consequences are worth it given the benefit you might get from said choice. I know my wife was devastated when DS cut us off, and now that he's back in our lives, she will be very hard pressed to risk another rupture in the relationship.</p><p></p><p>Ferb is over 18, so there's nothing, legally, that can be done. And also because he is technically speaking at least, an adult, there's really nothing you can do about his choices other than enforcing whatever rules you have for him regarding overall comportment. IE; if he is shirking responsibilities to you/the family to hang out with whomever, then it seems to me you'd have the right to dispatch consequences you felt appropriate.</p><p></p><p>I get the disgust, especially because I am a teacher myself. Everything you have described about this situation makes my skin crawl. But it seems like you may have more to lose than gain. Ferb will at minimum, deeply resent what he will likely interpret as an "intrusion" into his privacy. And unfortunately, whatever relationship he has with this former teacher is his (adult) business.</p><p></p><p>With that said, I'd request a sit-down with the principal of the school and lay out what you know of the situation. I wouldn't tell Ferb, if it was me. I would simply lay it at the school's feet to monitor the situation and take any action that might be necessary. Ferb's "friend" should not be working with children, that's for sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 715374, member: 13303"] If this were my Difficult Stepson, I would strive to handle the situation rationally and not emotionally (not saying I would succeed, just that I would strive, LOL). Speaking only for my situation, DS is very hardheaded and thin-skinned, so we pick our battles with him very carefully. The last big battle we fought with him, over school attendance and medication compliance, resulted in a year-long estrangement which just ended a few months ago. I don't know Ferb obviously, but I think it's worthwhile to consider how he will react to whatever choice you make, and if those consequences are worth it given the benefit you might get from said choice. I know my wife was devastated when DS cut us off, and now that he's back in our lives, she will be very hard pressed to risk another rupture in the relationship. Ferb is over 18, so there's nothing, legally, that can be done. And also because he is technically speaking at least, an adult, there's really nothing you can do about his choices other than enforcing whatever rules you have for him regarding overall comportment. IE; if he is shirking responsibilities to you/the family to hang out with whomever, then it seems to me you'd have the right to dispatch consequences you felt appropriate. I get the disgust, especially because I am a teacher myself. Everything you have described about this situation makes my skin crawl. But it seems like you may have more to lose than gain. Ferb will at minimum, deeply resent what he will likely interpret as an "intrusion" into his privacy. And unfortunately, whatever relationship he has with this former teacher is his (adult) business. With that said, I'd request a sit-down with the principal of the school and lay out what you know of the situation. I wouldn't tell Ferb, if it was me. I would simply lay it at the school's feet to monitor the situation and take any action that might be necessary. Ferb's "friend" should not be working with children, that's for sure. [/QUOTE]
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input on this yukky teacher situation please
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