Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DoneDad, Jul 29, 2015.

  1. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Difficult Daughter is 25, living at home with 1 1/2 yr old son, doing pretty well, working 20-25 hrs/wk at a grocery store, takes care of her son, no drugs or alcohol that we know about (her job drug tests so we're pretty sure about that).

    Her son's "father" is out of the picture. He has a restraining order against her - he had her arrested for domestic violence, lied and the cops believed him so she has to go to DV class and do community service, which she is doing even though it's unfair.

    Anyhow I'm retired (31 years teaching, last 10 in continuation school, all Difficult Child, all the time, became an impossible situation when new administration came in that didn't have a clue). 23 yr old son and 25 year old daughter are still covered by my health insurance. In October rates are increasing and it's going to cost almost $600/month for them to be covered. August is open enrollment when I can make changes so I have to decide if I should keep them on or drop them.

    Son is 23, finished community college, was going to transfer to 4 yr school but decided to pursue a modeling career instead. (Oi vay). What this means in reality is that he works part time in a sandwich shop. He lives in an apartment in a building we own that was close to the community college but now he's just living there rent free. So he's on the insurance too. We originally had him live in the apartment at least in part because Difficult Child drama was going full bore then and we wanted to get him away from the chaos. Looking back it wasn't a good idea because now he thinks he can sustain a pretty decent lifestyle working part time for minimum wage.

    I'm debating about the insurance. I know they're adults and need to be responsible for themselves. Last year I claimed them both as dependents but this year probably won't.

    My wife has had some very major health issues over the past year and really enjoys our grandson living here.

    Anyhow, what do you think about insurance?
  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    For me, I would drop them. They are old enough to get their own and start learning the value of having it.
    With the new Obamacare they should be able to get it and it may not cost them much if at all. Have them log onto the website to see if they qualify.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If it's the cheapest way for them to have insurance, can you ask them to pay you to keep them on the plan? In which case you both win. If there are other alternatives for them at about the same cost or less, I would give them some forewarning so they can get their own insurance set up.
  4. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I would drop them too. Your wife comes first now that they are men in my opinion. They probably will readily agree to pay you then not pay you and there probably is no way to drop them until the year is up. Do they usually keep their promises?

    I'd tell the one who works at Subway and wants to model that unless he becomes a rock star model within a month, he either gets a real job or coughs up the same rent you charge other tenants or he will have no motivation to grow up or work.

    I wouldn't want the daughter at home either unless she was respectful, helpful with chores, paid rent, and got a full time job. Can you maybe try to get custody of your granddaughter? Drug tests are not totally reliable. There are drugs that don't show up on the test.

    The granddaughter is touchy. I have no idea what to say about that.

    Are drugs involved at all with the son?
  5. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    They don't keep their promises, so keeping them on with the promise of them paying us won't work. And it's only once a year you can make changes. So I'm definitely leaning toward dropping them. It wouldn't take effect until October so they'd have time to set something else up.
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  6. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'd say drop them too. They can get insurance on their own more reasonably anyway.
    There comes a time for our kids to grow up.

    And, if they don't get it or get dropped, it's on them.

    And, your son should be paying rent while he's "modeling." Real life.
  7. RPR

    RPR New Member

    I have a 24 yr old and a 22 yr. old and they went online and got the New Obama Care. We haven't had them on our insurance spice they were 20.
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  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Done Dad--

    Yes, drop the insurance.

    You are not helping, but enabling your adult kids to not grow up.

    The insurance, the housing, and all the myriad of things you provide for them keeps them dependent on you and your wife.

    Not sure if this is purposeful or accidental, but either way, it is not helpful.
  9. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I say drop too. I keep mine on insurance, but I work for the government and our insurance rates are really reasonable. Yours aren't. Your two kids can get insurance through the ACA (Obamacare) and the grandchild is pretty definitely eligible for Medicaid for kids.
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  10. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Submitted the form to drop them. I knew it was the right thing but just needed to hear it. Grandson is on Medicaid already - he was never eligible to be on my insurance. Now it's up to them to deal with it - as it should be.
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  11. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Both of them may be eligible for Medicaid based off their incomes.
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  12. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Did drop them from insurance. Son's response was to tell us that we were supposed to provide that at least until he's 25. Apparently we're supposed to provide life long housing also.

    Nope - time for you to put down the beer bottle and the bong and support yourself.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

  14. Ironbutterfly

    Ironbutterfly If focused on a single leaf you won't see the tree

    Actually, the law is that you can keep your child on your insurance until 26 if they are your dependent. Key word, can, not HAVE TO.

    You did the right thing by dropping them. Daughter's insurance would be pretty cheap as Obamacare is based on income and would mos likely get a subsidy. Your son should be made to start paying rent if he is giving up school for a modeling career.