Just thought I'd share a difficult child perspective that may be of help to someone. My difficult child is now 22 yrs old and really not much of a difficult child at all anymore. Last night we were talking about her struggles with school (she dropped out but did earn a GED at age 17) and I told her that we all knew she was smart, her teachers would tell her, we would tell her, but she persisted in thinking she was stupid.
She said that everyone always telling her she was smart just reinforced the notion that she was stupid because she felt that if she was really smart we wouldn't keep telling her that. I guess she thought we were trying too hard or it came across as false, not really sure. This never, ever, occurred to me at the time. I thought if we kept reassuring her that we knew she was smart it might get through to her, instead it seemed to backfire!
Maybe this will be helpful to someone else!
Jane
She said that everyone always telling her she was smart just reinforced the notion that she was stupid because she felt that if she was really smart we wouldn't keep telling her that. I guess she thought we were trying too hard or it came across as false, not really sure. This never, ever, occurred to me at the time. I thought if we kept reassuring her that we knew she was smart it might get through to her, instead it seemed to backfire!
Maybe this will be helpful to someone else!
Jane