JJJ
Active Member
Today was our first family therapy session with new therapist.
Kanga had been looking forward to going to the MLB game and just found out (this morning) that she is not being allowed to go due to her recent planning of mis-behavior on a community outing (caught before she could put the plan into action). Staff was willing to take her. I was blunt and told them I think they are out of their minds to take her. The decision was made to not allow her to go.
So, she started the session in a bad mood (she was not told that it was my decision, staff took the heat). She stated she was ready to come home. (Typical when things aren't going her way.)
She had many complaints and demands for more vists - with sibs, off campus, set-in-stone schedule, etc.
Her therapist did a good job in responding -- she told Kanga that since Kanga herself was not predictable and her visits and outings are based in a large part on her behavior, that it would not be possible to set a schedule in stone and that goals would have to be set and met before any of the other stuff could happen. Kanga didn't want to hear any of it.
She also claimed that she spent "the whole year stuck in her room" before the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because we are "way too strict". When I listed all of the activities she was in during that last year -- which was ALOT in a desperate attempt to keep her occupied (5 different sports teams, 5-6 weeks of residential summer camp, weekly therapy, church youth group, park district day care), she agreed she was in all of those but when she was home she had to be in her room 'for safety'(said in the snottiest tone she could muster).
Tons of jealousy about the younger 3 having "perfect lives". She kept calling them "your kids". She is upset that she lives in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they only go to weekly therapy and 'they must not be working too hard if they still don't want to see her'. They aren't in weekly therapy -- and when they were, the therapist's were more concerned about teaching them to protect themselves from her than in any reunification.
She kept saying all of the things she wants to do. I acknowledged the things that she has learned in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but when I tried to talk about the bad things she has done that have lost her many chances to get more visits, home passes, more community outings -- she demanded that we stop talking about the past (i.e. last Wednesday).
Overall, it was sad. It was clear to me that she still doesn't get the relationship between her choices and attitudes and her lack of a relationship with all of us. She still sees herself as 'better' than the other girls at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She isn't too motivated to work on her issues because she can point to issues that those girls have that she doesn't and put herself on a pedastal. She doesn't see that those girls likely think of themselves as better than her because THEY aren't the ones getting down and dirty with a boy on the floor of their work place.
therapist is suppose to call me in an hour for a recap and to set the goals for the next family session.
Kanga had been looking forward to going to the MLB game and just found out (this morning) that she is not being allowed to go due to her recent planning of mis-behavior on a community outing (caught before she could put the plan into action). Staff was willing to take her. I was blunt and told them I think they are out of their minds to take her. The decision was made to not allow her to go.
So, she started the session in a bad mood (she was not told that it was my decision, staff took the heat). She stated she was ready to come home. (Typical when things aren't going her way.)
She had many complaints and demands for more vists - with sibs, off campus, set-in-stone schedule, etc.
Her therapist did a good job in responding -- she told Kanga that since Kanga herself was not predictable and her visits and outings are based in a large part on her behavior, that it would not be possible to set a schedule in stone and that goals would have to be set and met before any of the other stuff could happen. Kanga didn't want to hear any of it.
She also claimed that she spent "the whole year stuck in her room" before the first Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because we are "way too strict". When I listed all of the activities she was in during that last year -- which was ALOT in a desperate attempt to keep her occupied (5 different sports teams, 5-6 weeks of residential summer camp, weekly therapy, church youth group, park district day care), she agreed she was in all of those but when she was home she had to be in her room 'for safety'(said in the snottiest tone she could muster).
Tons of jealousy about the younger 3 having "perfect lives". She kept calling them "your kids". She is upset that she lives in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and they only go to weekly therapy and 'they must not be working too hard if they still don't want to see her'. They aren't in weekly therapy -- and when they were, the therapist's were more concerned about teaching them to protect themselves from her than in any reunification.
She kept saying all of the things she wants to do. I acknowledged the things that she has learned in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but when I tried to talk about the bad things she has done that have lost her many chances to get more visits, home passes, more community outings -- she demanded that we stop talking about the past (i.e. last Wednesday).
Overall, it was sad. It was clear to me that she still doesn't get the relationship between her choices and attitudes and her lack of a relationship with all of us. She still sees herself as 'better' than the other girls at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). She isn't too motivated to work on her issues because she can point to issues that those girls have that she doesn't and put herself on a pedastal. She doesn't see that those girls likely think of themselves as better than her because THEY aren't the ones getting down and dirty with a boy on the floor of their work place.
therapist is suppose to call me in an hour for a recap and to set the goals for the next family session.