Interesting week...long but includes cat fight in courthouse parking lot! lol

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AmericanGirl, Sep 20, 2012.

  1. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    difficult child was due to testify Tuesday. Old playmate claims someone assaulted him. Old playmate's mom, let's call her 'idiot', promised to pay difficult child's court fines if he would testify. She knew he had a warrant out.

    She swore to both of us on Monday night (on 3 way call) that she would meet me Tuesday morning with cash. I would meet difficult child and post his bail and bring him to court. She even said she would pay $30 to difficult child's girlfriend who drove difficult child about 80 miles to meet me.

    Idiot called me Tuesday morning - said her son was sick. No go. Wouldn't discuss any other options other than she was sure if I called the court then they would allow him not to come. Yeah right. difficult child is already in route.

    difficult child comes. Calls idiot 8 times during the day. She kept making excuses and asking him to call her back. He finally talked to her two hours before court. She punted again. difficult child told her, "I did everything you asked. Are you not going to keep your end of the agreement?" Idiot dodged him again so he said, "Don't you have a checkbook at home with you?" IDIOT HUNG UP ON HIM!!!

    So, I loaned difficult child the money for his fines. We went to pay them. Clerk told me last week it was $800, not $450. difficult child has extra charge/fine because he is paying late. Will be booked and will have to return to court later. We got there. Judge was sitting in her office. difficult child dressed to the nines, polite and appears with his mother. Clerk waived extra charge and fines. No more court dates. :) Whew!

    We go to court that night so difficult child can testify. Idiot is there with her son (hs drop out, meth addict, likely mental issues, etc. - huge enabler of my difficult child). Idiot doesn't speak or look at me or difficult child. Case is continued. difficult child tells judge he lives 90 miles away and doesn't have reliable transportation to return - asks if he can testify by phone or Skype. Judge agrees. We leave.

    Getting in car in parking lot. Idiot leaves. A friend of defendant runs up and grabs her from behind. A friend of idiot's then grabs that guy. Mother of defendant (call her idiot #2) then rushes at idiot #1. Her son then grabs her and holds her back. Idiot #2 is screaming my name and asking where I am. It breaks up and we pulled out.

    Drive a few blocks to get gas. Defendant drives up in gas station, screaming at difficult child out the window, obviously looking for a fight. Forget gas....we go home.

    I didn't believe difficult child when he told me it might not be safe for me to come to court. Grateful they don't know where difficult child is living and for my burglar alarm.

    The good news:

    1. difficult child was appropriate throughout everything.
    2. difficult child's new girlfriend drove him over. met her. had lunch. liked her.
    3. difficult child asked to go with me to al-anon meeting. they asked if he wanted to share. he does. a lot. leader told me afterward it was the best meeting since the group started 4 yrs ago.
    4. difficult child and i talked about lots of tough issues. no fights.
    5. difficult child asked me if i wanted to do daily devotion with him. was kind. very affectionate and helpful. Sober house manager reports progress but sees a few things difficult child needs to work on. i agree.

    Yesterday he went to training for his new job. I allowed him to return with car but under restrictions.

    I know addiction is managed, not cured. Just grateful to be able to be with my son and enjoy his company.

    Although it is harder to see him go now. I miss him. But that is exactly where he needs to be.
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Sounds like there are a lot of positives for difficult child in your post! I'm so glad!

    I'm also glad that you are not related to the idiots and that they do not know where you live. YIKES!
  3. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Other then all the disappointments and drama, it seems life for you and your difficult child is on the upswing, it seems your difficult child has developed some insight and responsibility, always good things. He appears to be on the right road and, for the moment, things are smooth. I'm happy for both of you..........
  4. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Wow, AG. I hope he never goes back to that world of craziness again! I'm relieved for all the good news, things sound like they're coming along. I think he's turned down a new path, and maybe it's about time you can exhale for a change. :fingerscrossed:
  5. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    AG, this sounds good. He has pulled ahead of where he was a few months ago! I know it is day to day. Please enjoy the moments you sorry about the drama. This mom sounds like a winner. I hope she comes through in the end.
  6. 92025

    92025 Member

    if difficult child continues to improve you will probably laugh about this someday
  7. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    As they so often said in rehab, "you're exactly where you need to be. AG I've watched you get stronger and stronger. You are doing all the right things. I think of you often. hoping difficult child continues doing what he needs to do at the sober house.

  8. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Very positive update! Hope all continues as good!! :)
  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    All good news. Slow and steady steps forward. So proud of you for sticking to guns and funding a way to be supportive yet not enabling. Way to go!