I am new. 1st post. My difficult child son is 14. My difficult child daughter is 11. I am gay. Kids know. I had a 6 yr relationship with a woman who I lived with. She helped me raise the kids. We broke up a year and a half ago but still lived together until Aug of this year. We had to sell the house. I am divorced with ex in military. Sees kids 1 time per yr. Most recently he saw the kids 1 time in 2 yrs. Never calls. Son has been in counseling since age 5. Most of those years it was through the school counselor. For the last 2.5 years it has been with 1 counselor outside of school. Puberty and outbursts prompted me to seek more counseling. I have moved to a new house and new school system with higher standards. My children have had to leave their friends. Son has had outbursts because of moving and a visit of their father. Father told son that he could choose who to live with at age 12. Son believes I intentionally kept this information from him. Son has punched walls and I called the police when he had a meltdown. Becomes defensive about school. Does not like it. Many assignments are late. I try to be helpful but it is seen as nagging. Son is in wrestling and loves it. Has a meltdown because of an assignment that he believes he will fail. He kicks the wall and puts a whole in it without realizing it. I work it out with the teacher and all is cool. It is hard to ground him for every outburst. I do feel that he is out of control and that he does not mean to do it. Counselor does not seem to offer him many ways to deal with these issues. We are supposed to take a "break" but it always just gets shoved under the rug and never dealt with. I feel breaks should not be allowed but should be work thru. I feel that inside he has a low self-esteem and I don't want to push him over the edge. Just frustrated. I love my son.