Intro from a very frazzled mom

[braedonconnornoah]

My name is Tamara. I'm a 35 y.o. stay at home mom to Braedon (7), Connor (5), and Noah (2). I'm struggling really hard to think of Braedon as a difficult child. More like Devil's spawn. :devil: I am really at my wit's end with him. I just plain do not like him most of the time. He has never been diagnosis, but he has every marker for ODD. He has been difficult since he was born, so this is nothing he's going to simply "grow out of". My DS Connor (5) has autistic spectrum disorder. He is atypical in that he is very social and affectionate, but is clueless to boundaries or appropriate behavior. He also mimicks those around him, good or bad. My DS Noah (2) is in EI for speech and Occupational Therapist (OT). He's getting aggressive like his older brother, so I've watching him closely. My dog got hit by a car last night and we had to put her to sleep, and my father in law is dying in the hospital. I am really to have a melt down. Thanks for letting me vent!!!

 

[klmno]

Glad you posted! You have found a good place and others will be able to help you more, but I wanted to welcome you. It appears that ODD is usually more of a sympton of other issues. Can you get him in with a neuropsychologist for testing or a psychiatrist (or better yet, both)? If you discuss this with the pediatrician, they should be able to recommend someone. I think the sooner you do this, the better you will feel and the sooner he can be helped.

Again, Welcome!!

 

[braedonconnornoah]

Thanks, Kimno! He does need to go, but let's just say that it wouldn't be the first time I've taken him to be evaluated and I'm getting frustrated at the "just be consistent" and "let's wait and see" that the doctors dish out. I'm having a hard time finding someone in the Cleveland area who specializes in childhood behavioral issues/disorders. Frankly, though, if I do nothing, I could easily see him going into conduct disorder. Tamara

 

[TerryJ2]

Hi Tamara,
so sorry you're having such a rough time. I am so sorry about your dog. Sigh.
And I hope that your father in law is not in any pain.
So sad.
I had to laugh at your comment about Devil's Spawn. been there done that! But I can sympathize.
I would suggest working on one behavior at a time with-Braedon, rather than tackling everything at once. Which behavior is the worst? His rudeness? Tantrums?
Give us some ideas.

 

[meowbunny]

(((((Tamara)))))

What a horrid holiday weekend for you. I'm so sorry about your dog and father in law. Hopefully, some of the stressors will get better soon.

I do agree that an evaluation is important. If you have a Children's Hospital near you, that is probably the best place to get a neuropsychologist evaluation done. This would be the best type of evaluation to get -- much better than one that just delves in one area, especially since he has been this way from birth. Another thing to consider is food allergies. Many -- gluten, food dyes especially -- can and do affect behavior.

I do understand the not liking even though loving your child feelings. They truly stink. It makes you wonder what is wrong with you, your child, the world that you feel this way. My therapist told me it was okay to not always like my daughter but I needed to find one good thing she did every day and write it in a dairy. A few times the best I could come up with she was finally asleep. It really did help.

Give us specific behaviors and we can probably come up with a trick or tip or two or three that might help.

You're not alone in this. You'll find many warrior moms here that have been there done that more times than we care to admit.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Welcome to the site, Tamara.


Sorry you had to find us, but glad you did. So sorry about your past few days.

It would helps us a lot if you could make a signature for yourself. Go to the FAQ forum; there are instructions there.

A couple things. First is, KLMNO is right, an evaluation is a must. As a little background, we have learned that ODD rarely stands alone, but rather is secondary to another diagnosis. Just to prepare you.

Another suggestion, if you are having issues with your difficult child (we ALL have a hard time referring to our child as that once in awhile!) try to get your hands on the book "Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. Excellent read. Highly recommended here.

Again welcome. Yo may not get a ton of responses today (hey, everyone is out Christmas shopping!) but most mommies will be back on the board Monday.

(((HUGS!)))

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there. I have a suggestion. First off, I'd like you to know that almost every child here has the symptoms of ODD...lol. It rarely stands by itself, but is usually fueled by another diagnosis.
Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (autistic spectrum) is VERY hereditary and if you have one spectrum child, you have a 1 in 20 chance that another one will have it. With the symptoms that your oldest has, I'd seriously take him for a complete neuropsychologist evaluation with an eye on high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). The neuropsychologist will test him in every area, in every way, in every possible situation (my son was tested for twelve hours). It is highly possible that your oldest son (and maybe youngest) are on the higher end of the autism spectrum, which can cause frustration, defiance, and very difficult behavior, especially if misdiagnosed, but those kids need Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) interventions as much as your middle one does, although he is more obvious. You say he had difficulties from birth. Did he cuddle? Make eye contact? Eat well? Does he tolerate noise, fabrics, and a lot of commotion without meltdowns? Is he "quirky" with odd behavior that maybe other kids have picked on? My son has high functioning autism and he was misdiagnosed a lot and put on tons of medications and given behavioral plans that all failed. Now that he has the right diagnosis., he has been off medications for four years and is doing GREAT (capital G GREAT, actually). I would take both your other kids to a neuropsychologist. Unfortunately, many psychologists and Psychiatrists don't understand Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and have trouble diagnosing it--they see behavioral problems and often throw medications at a problem that needs other interventions. I'm of the "better to be safe than sorry" school of thought. I've never regretted forcing the school to give my then undiagnosed son Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) interventions. He would not be the high functioning young man he is today if I'd "waited." by the way, I"m so sorry for all the other stuff going on in your life. You don't need THAT too. Prayers are with you. Good luck!

 

[I'm going crazy!!!]

i agree with everyone else who's posted most of the kids here have odd and i can't think of any that only have odd

the more information you can give us the more we can help you but no matter what advice you find here the best is find a good doctor just keep pushing until you find someone to help your son and don't take any of that let's wait and see just tell them i have waited and i have not seen a change in fact he's only getting worse please help my son if they still refuse go to someone else medicine isn't always the solution but fact is doing nothing is definitely the wrong way to go so try it and don't give up until you find what works

my motto: if it won't hurt us or our difficult child then we're game even if he isn't he will be soon enough lol