Intro post from budk-XT

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SRL, Jun 21, 2009.

  1. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    budk-XT, I'm copying your post here so people who are dropping by the forum will be more likely to see your post.

    " is my first post within ConDis. Scardycat, and others, my wife and I are going thru this same issue with our 5yo lil man. He has an older brother (7yr) who has challenges but he is not nearly as strong willed/defiant as Lil Man. The Thinker (7yr old) has matured a bit so his behavior is somewhat controlled at this moment. ScardyCat could have been writing about Lil Man except for the gender and dolls. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

    Lil Man can be very charming, has been speaking very well since the age of two and is constantly being told that he is so cute (which may be going to his head). He is in no way, shape or form shy and must be the center of attention. He is also a very bright boy but not gifted. All the other children in his class/school look up to him which is not all good. I forgot to mention that he is a habitual fabricator of the truth:sad-very:. You could watch him do something and he will strongly deny it to the point you have to question if you even saw him do what you KNOW you saw.

    The behavior he has exhibited lately has gotten worse in the last year or so but mostly rears it's "ugly head" at pre-school. We have some problems at home but there is structure, boundaries and expectations outlined. He is aware there will be immediate consequences at home. Nothing seems to bother him as punishment for his behavior at school though (toys taken, discipline, no tv...etc).

    He has always been a slow eater but we must put him on the "clock" so that he finishes his breakfast/dinner when the rest of the family does.

    At school he refuses to take a nap even though he may be a walking zombie. Its like he is gonna miss something by taking a nap at school. Nap time for him is huge because if he doesn't take a nap his activity level is raised even higher. He also will disturb the other kids at nap time which contributes to chaos (see earlier ring leader statement).

    We have kept him up on purpose 2hrs past his normal bed time thinking that he will take a nap the following day. Each time he just laid down at nap time and shook himself back awake when he was almost sleep. The teacher was surprised as she had never seen a child do that before.

    He is the brightest child in the class but can't sit still all the time and complete his tasks. We want him to do well when he enters K this school year but we also want him to exhibit some self control.

    My wife and I adopted both he and his brother after having them in our home 2yrs so we know a little about their background (some drug use and possibly alcohol). Right now we are at our wits end on what to do to help Lil Man and The Thinker. We want the best for both of them. We are torn between medication and Feingold at this point.

    Lil Man - ODD and ADHD according to psychiatric evaluation but tough to diagnose at such an early age. evaluation was done at age 4.

    The Thinker - ADHD tendancies but demonstrates more self control now. The classroom environment is tough as he wants to talk or "help" his classmates with their work.

    Any help would be greatly appreciated as this is leading to very hi stress levels in our home."
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Hi and welcome to our forum. Things are pretty slow around here on summer weekends.

    What were the qualifications of the psychologist who did the evaluation? Was it a regular psychologist? If ADHD is an issue then at age 5 it's probably more of a matter of he "can't" settle down to complete tasks and sleep in the preschool environment than a matter of he "won't". So what recommendations did the psychiatric give? Were trialing medications included in the suggestions? Were any recommendations for helping him stay on task at school given? For instance a child who is in constant motion may benefit from having a gel bal in their hands to channel the energy into. Or may do well with special seating.

    You may want to look into something called Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Some kids who look ADHD are really struggling with sensory issues and are seeking out physical activity to meet needs of their sensory systems that are off from what most of us would consider normal.

    Is he scheduled to go to kindergarten in fall? If this were my child and the problems continued in K I'd want a full evaluation done by a private neuropsychologist as well as a team at school.