Introducing myself
- Thread starter SiriusHertz
- Start date
SiriusHertz
New Member
I think at some point I put in the huge massive endless posts that we live in the desert southwest, and not in a major metro. We don't have good therapists; we have bad ones who don't mind living in the desert, unfortunetly. This is an on-going problem for me, my SO, and both our difficult children - finding a therapist that has a clue is difficult, and many of them seem to do more harm than good.So yeah, hearing that she didn't have a clue is no real suprise :-(
Our home has had a very strict routine in the past, but we've intentionally gotten away from it due to difficult child 2's Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)/Anxiety. She's a real clock-watcher, and part of her EXRP therapy has been to deal with the fact that we're serving dinner at 6:17 instead of 6:00:00 on the dot.
These days, we have a schedule which is very static week-to-week (we have certain extracurriculars on certain nights, we always eat dinner before or after the same events on the same night, etc) but we don't have a to-the-minute schedule. We do maintain set sequences and checklists for some things; for example, when getting into bed, the kids have to shower, brush teeth and hair, set out clothes for the next day, and pick up their rooms - not necessarily in that order. difficult child 1 does respond VERY well to that kind of direction - "here's a list of simple tasks I need you to do, that you know how to do; now do them however you want, in whatever order you want." He does not respond well to micromanagement - but sometimes micromanagement is the only way to get him to actually do things he's disinclined to do.
In general, difficult child 1 is very able to cope with changes in schedule as long as one of two conditions is met: 1, he is aware of the change in advance and able to think it through before it happens; or 2, the adult who makes the last-minute change doesn't act like it's anything to be worried about. If all of us feel (or act) like the change is nothing to worry about, he generally takes it in stride. He gets more agitated if we act concerned or worried about it, which as far as I can see is true of most kids. We try not to do that to any of the kids, but sometimes it's unavoidable.
You're parenting him as though he's an Aspie. 
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and looks like a duck, then maybe it is a duck?
And as far as tdocs go... most of us have never found tdocs that really know anything about Aspie/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (or Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or some other things...). You need a comprehensive evaluator - either neuropsychologist (if you're in the US...), or PhD-level psychologist with a specialty in evaluations, or a team approach out of a children's or teaching university hospital. You may have to go out of your area to get the evaluation. Once you HAVE the dxes... it's amazing how other people "see the light" (at least, some will).
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck and looks like a duck, then maybe it is a duck?
And as far as tdocs go... most of us have never found tdocs that really know anything about Aspie/Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) (or Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or some other things...). You need a comprehensive evaluator - either neuropsychologist (if you're in the US...), or PhD-level psychologist with a specialty in evaluations, or a team approach out of a children's or teaching university hospital. You may have to go out of your area to get the evaluation. Once you HAVE the dxes... it's amazing how other people "see the light" (at least, some will).
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Many of us have to travel 2-4 hours for an evaluation. I'm sure there is somebody who has a clue.
Similar threads
