Hi all,
I just found these boards after a long and immensely frustrating day of parenting, and am I ever glad I did! So I thought I would just introduce myself and my family and vent a bit, then go ahead and read some other posts.
I am a mom of a very difficult three-year-old daughter who has me at the end of my rope right now, and a 5-month-old son who's fairly easy, as far as babies go. A little background on my daughter: as a baby she screamed almost constantly, slept in 15 minute spurts, and didn't crawl, roll over, or pull to a stand, although she walked at the normal time. After begging many doctors for help, I was finally referred to an early intervention program, where daughter recieved physiotherapy and occupational therapy (for sensory issues -- couldn't stand certain textures, noises, etc.). Finally, at 21 months, she could crawl, pull to a stand, and roll over. Her sensory issues, at least the obvious ones, seamed to be gone. But she has behavioural issues that leave me so exhausted I barely have any "mom" left in me for my DS.
She is so shy she is actually fearful of most people, especially kids (I have never had a play date or trip to the park where I spent any time standing back and chatting with the other moms, unless she was right there beside me, gripping my hand). She wakes up angry every day, spends the majority of her day angry, in tears, and throwing outrageous tantrums. It's gotten so bad I don't dare leave the house with her unless my husband is with us, except to take her to preschool twice a week (where she spends her time clinging to the teachers and cries often, although she says she loves it).
Today I had a friend over whom daughter adores... when the friend is not around (talks about her often, pretends to be her, etc.) But as soon as my friend knocked on the door daughter started crying and screaming in terror. She then spent the whole visit clinging to me, crying every time I got up to do anything (even though I brought her with me and never let go of her hand), and shooting nasty glares at my friend and her baby. Then she threw a beanbag at my friend's baby's head (missed, thank goodness). After my friend left, daughter spent the rest of the day as she always does, screaming and throwing tantrums.
I just don't know what to do. She has no diagnosis, although she sees a neurologist about the motor skill delay. I've told everyone who works with her about the behaviour, but I don't know if anyone really gets how extreme it is. Until recently we were working under the assumption that the tantrums and fearfulness were due to frustration because of the motor skill delay, but she is now almost caught up to the other children her age.
I just don't get it. If I wasn't her parent, and with her practically every moment of her life, I would probably think she was being abused or something. She just seems so darn unhappy all the time. Her neurologist doesn't think she's on the autism spectrum. Another thing I should mention is that she tests quite high cognitively (about a 4-year-old level), talked early, and has always had a close relationship with me and husband, even though she started showing intense fear of strangers at around three months.
Well, thanks for reading all that, it felt good to get it out, and I look forward to reading some of the other posts now. If you have any thoughts or can relate, I'd love to hear about it.
I just found these boards after a long and immensely frustrating day of parenting, and am I ever glad I did! So I thought I would just introduce myself and my family and vent a bit, then go ahead and read some other posts.
I am a mom of a very difficult three-year-old daughter who has me at the end of my rope right now, and a 5-month-old son who's fairly easy, as far as babies go. A little background on my daughter: as a baby she screamed almost constantly, slept in 15 minute spurts, and didn't crawl, roll over, or pull to a stand, although she walked at the normal time. After begging many doctors for help, I was finally referred to an early intervention program, where daughter recieved physiotherapy and occupational therapy (for sensory issues -- couldn't stand certain textures, noises, etc.). Finally, at 21 months, she could crawl, pull to a stand, and roll over. Her sensory issues, at least the obvious ones, seamed to be gone. But she has behavioural issues that leave me so exhausted I barely have any "mom" left in me for my DS.
She is so shy she is actually fearful of most people, especially kids (I have never had a play date or trip to the park where I spent any time standing back and chatting with the other moms, unless she was right there beside me, gripping my hand). She wakes up angry every day, spends the majority of her day angry, in tears, and throwing outrageous tantrums. It's gotten so bad I don't dare leave the house with her unless my husband is with us, except to take her to preschool twice a week (where she spends her time clinging to the teachers and cries often, although she says she loves it).
Today I had a friend over whom daughter adores... when the friend is not around (talks about her often, pretends to be her, etc.) But as soon as my friend knocked on the door daughter started crying and screaming in terror. She then spent the whole visit clinging to me, crying every time I got up to do anything (even though I brought her with me and never let go of her hand), and shooting nasty glares at my friend and her baby. Then she threw a beanbag at my friend's baby's head (missed, thank goodness). After my friend left, daughter spent the rest of the day as she always does, screaming and throwing tantrums.
I just don't know what to do. She has no diagnosis, although she sees a neurologist about the motor skill delay. I've told everyone who works with her about the behaviour, but I don't know if anyone really gets how extreme it is. Until recently we were working under the assumption that the tantrums and fearfulness were due to frustration because of the motor skill delay, but she is now almost caught up to the other children her age.
I just don't get it. If I wasn't her parent, and with her practically every moment of her life, I would probably think she was being abused or something. She just seems so darn unhappy all the time. Her neurologist doesn't think she's on the autism spectrum. Another thing I should mention is that she tests quite high cognitively (about a 4-year-old level), talked early, and has always had a close relationship with me and husband, even though she started showing intense fear of strangers at around three months.
Well, thanks for reading all that, it felt good to get it out, and I look forward to reading some of the other posts now. If you have any thoughts or can relate, I'd love to hear about it.