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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 703285" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Your daughter had a horrible start in life. I feel sick at what some people can do to their own kids. Mom sounds so awful.</p><p></p><p>It does sound like she may have been sexually abused, which is often forgotten...the subconscious hides it. But bed wetting with no physical reason is a big symptoms.</p><p></p><p>With what she had to live through, I urge you to put "attachment disorder" into your search engine. Unfortunately most psychiatrists don't know it when they see it and have no idea how to treat it. Attachment Disorders cause horrific behavior and no conscience and is a form of PTSD. But it has to be treated in its own way. And nobody is sure what that is. You'd need to find an expert if you feel, after reading about it, that this fits your daughter. I think you may think so.</p><p></p><p>I adopted an older boy who has it and we were not told. Eventually he was too dangerous to my young kids and pets and everyone else to live with us, but he was very good at hiding his abuse of other kids and pets.</p><p></p><p>He was an angel around adults. This is not the case with all attachment disordered kids, but he did it. They are all different with one thing in common...no empathy toward others. They don't care who they hurt unless they get into trouble and then their tears are about themselves, not their victims.</p><p></p><p>We relinquished our rights to him and he spent years in residential treatment, another option that often takes Medicaid. The child gets 24/7 treatment and has a place to live and go to school. Look into state run residential treatment centers.</p><p></p><p>If your daughter may have been abused, she is a risk to either do it to a younger child in or out of your home or, when older, abused girls often accuse the father of sexual abuse. The allegation, even without proof, is taken seriously. It causes a lot of heartache.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself if this child is a risk to her brother, younger school mates, pets or even yourselves. Our boy was. Attachment disorder is caused when an infant and then young child's needs are not met by a consistent caregiver. This is mandatory for a healthy, thivfting child to become a loving person who cares about others. Later love by an adoptive parent or other kind caregiver can't cure this. The child fears love, doesn't trust anyone and often acts worse when we try the hardest to love them.</p><p></p><p>Attachment Disorder, often shortened to R AD (means reactive attachment disorder). It is common in older adopted children, but can happen to any child who has a crazy, chaotic or neglectful early history.</p><p></p><p>There are three big symptoms that are red flags for a child who eventually ends up as an adult with no conscience/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). They are bed wetting, cruelty to animals and fascination with fire.</p><p></p><p>Often sexual acting out or exposing self is there too but sometimes they are smart kids and hide their symptoms from us.</p><p></p><p>Our boy did and his younger siblings, whom he was sexually abusing, were afraid of his threats to kill us all by setting the house on fire. He told them he was the devil and crazy and they better not cross him. They didn't, not until they were certain he was never coming back.</p><p></p><p>He showed no remorse in his residential treatment center but he was at least not able to hurt anyone anymore. He is out now with children. I don't know if things are okay now. I saw his FB but have not spoken to him for over a decade.</p><p></p><p>Look up reactive attachment disorder and see if it rings a bell. Talk to your youngest privately and ask if he is afraid of her. He may not tell the truth if she scared him.</p><p></p><p>Well that is another possibility. Her mother sounds sick. I would do something now or it could be too late. There are places to go if you have Medicaid. University psychiatric centers that understand unattached kids and how to diagnose this would be my first choice. You don't want to risk going through what we did. Our family stuck together and grew closer. It doesnt have to tear you apart.</p><p></p><p>You can do this. You are strong.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 703285, member: 1550"] Your daughter had a horrible start in life. I feel sick at what some people can do to their own kids. Mom sounds so awful. It does sound like she may have been sexually abused, which is often forgotten...the subconscious hides it. But bed wetting with no physical reason is a big symptoms. With what she had to live through, I urge you to put "attachment disorder" into your search engine. Unfortunately most psychiatrists don't know it when they see it and have no idea how to treat it. Attachment Disorders cause horrific behavior and no conscience and is a form of PTSD. But it has to be treated in its own way. And nobody is sure what that is. You'd need to find an expert if you feel, after reading about it, that this fits your daughter. I think you may think so. I adopted an older boy who has it and we were not told. Eventually he was too dangerous to my young kids and pets and everyone else to live with us, but he was very good at hiding his abuse of other kids and pets. He was an angel around adults. This is not the case with all attachment disordered kids, but he did it. They are all different with one thing in common...no empathy toward others. They don't care who they hurt unless they get into trouble and then their tears are about themselves, not their victims. We relinquished our rights to him and he spent years in residential treatment, another option that often takes Medicaid. The child gets 24/7 treatment and has a place to live and go to school. Look into state run residential treatment centers. If your daughter may have been abused, she is a risk to either do it to a younger child in or out of your home or, when older, abused girls often accuse the father of sexual abuse. The allegation, even without proof, is taken seriously. It causes a lot of heartache. Ask yourself if this child is a risk to her brother, younger school mates, pets or even yourselves. Our boy was. Attachment disorder is caused when an infant and then young child's needs are not met by a consistent caregiver. This is mandatory for a healthy, thivfting child to become a loving person who cares about others. Later love by an adoptive parent or other kind caregiver can't cure this. The child fears love, doesn't trust anyone and often acts worse when we try the hardest to love them. Attachment Disorder, often shortened to R AD (means reactive attachment disorder). It is common in older adopted children, but can happen to any child who has a crazy, chaotic or neglectful early history. There are three big symptoms that are red flags for a child who eventually ends up as an adult with no conscience/Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). They are bed wetting, cruelty to animals and fascination with fire. Often sexual acting out or exposing self is there too but sometimes they are smart kids and hide their symptoms from us. Our boy did and his younger siblings, whom he was sexually abusing, were afraid of his threats to kill us all by setting the house on fire. He told them he was the devil and crazy and they better not cross him. They didn't, not until they were certain he was never coming back. He showed no remorse in his residential treatment center but he was at least not able to hurt anyone anymore. He is out now with children. I don't know if things are okay now. I saw his FB but have not spoken to him for over a decade. Look up reactive attachment disorder and see if it rings a bell. Talk to your youngest privately and ask if he is afraid of her. He may not tell the truth if she scared him. Well that is another possibility. Her mother sounds sick. I would do something now or it could be too late. There are places to go if you have Medicaid. University psychiatric centers that understand unattached kids and how to diagnose this would be my first choice. You don't want to risk going through what we did. Our family stuck together and grew closer. It doesnt have to tear you apart. You can do this. You are strong. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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