Irrational fears yet facinately self induced

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Chailya, Apr 29, 2010.

  1. Chailya

    Chailya Guest

    My son has a couple of stand out irrational fears of lightening storms/tornado's and the toilet overflowing. These have been persistent with him for about 5yrs now. He's never been in nor seen a tornado except on t.v. nor has he ever fell into the toilet or even been teased by anyone that they would flush him or stuff him. He gets freaky and panicky when thunder/lightening storms come...yet has a almost dire fascination to watch the weather channel, especially tornado's, and last year almost every book he checked out from the library was about tornado's and always results in him getting worked up and anxious talking and going on about them. He's been banned from the weather channel since age 4..though he sneaks to watch still, and banned from checking out any books about destruction.

    He won't sit fully down on the toilet, and didn't give up the potty chair until he was 7. He would literally just not have a bowel movement to the point he made himself start getting sick and I had to force him to take children's laxatives and push fluids to clean him out. He hides soiled toilet paper in bathroom drawers, and in the clothes hamper in there because he is afraid of making the toilet over flow.."yet" he has purposely flushed large sums of toilet paper, and even cut up pieces of clothes to make it do just that..but only when he's not actually using it.

    Anyone else have these oddities with their difficult child's?

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I had some strange fears/phobias as a child, such as fear of bandages or bloody noses. I would cover my face and scream. I grew up to have severe anxiety and mood problems,l however that may not be the problem with your child. I have a few questions that could help us help you.

    1/Has he ever seen a neuropsychologist? Who diagnosed him? Did you know that stimulants can make a nervous kid even more nervous?

    2/Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of his GENETIC family tree? Even if he never met Dad, he carries half his genes and could have inherited problems from him. Is SO his father? If not, is his father a substance abuser or does he have mental health issues? Anything on your side?

    3/How was his early development? Did he talk on time, make good eye contact with everyone, like to be cuddled, play appropriately with toys, relate well (then and now) to his same age peers? Does he have any obsessions that he talks about nonstop? Can he hold a give-and-take conversation or does he monologue at you or just answer "yes" "no" "I don't know." Can he transition from one activity to another with ease? Does he have trouble with loud noise, certain fabrics, certain foods, too much stimulation? How does he do in school?

    Welcome to the board, but sorry you had to come.
  3. dirtmama

    dirtmama New Member

    just a 5 y/o, who is very dramatic, had an obsession with- the movie ET. he loved the movie and loved ET. but now he has nightmares about ET constantly and won't go in his bedroom alone! he hates the movie now and wants it out of the house (i told him to chuck it). i almost wonder with- these obsessions...they spend all their time thinking about this stuff - of course they dream about it at night and not always good dreams. my other son(8) is similar with- weather/tornados/natural disasters like volcanoes. i bet the attraction is the danger and mystery yet they end up scaring the bejesus out of themselves. gosh that's so weird..also has a weird toilet thing where he almost refuses to flush the toilet and is terrified by airplaine toilets or loud commerial toilets BUT he loves the whirl pool in the bath drain....i don't get it, really.
  4. Chailya

    Chailya Guest

    Hi MidwestMom..

    There aren't any known mental issues nor abusive addictions on other side of the gene pool.
    He wasn't normal acting to me from the get go but we attributed some of that to the fact he had colic, a hernia, and large production of ear wax..(affecting his desire for free close contact, and delayed speech). No troubles with eye contact though.
    He didn't respond to action/consequences like I was use to seeing with my 1st child and other children, and he would get obsessed on certain things with no amount of changing his obsession until he himself gave it up, and moved on. He was very hyper and spastic.
    He hasn't been antisocial but he has few friends because he treats them bad unless they do what he wants.
    School has always been a issue with higher than normal trips to the principals office since kindergarten, and just barely getting past grade wise.

    He was diagnosed with ADHD 4yrs ago by a psychological evaluation, and were hoping this summer to do the neuropsychologist testing now that we've been with the ADHD medications long enough to help mesh out what is or could be attributed to that diagnosis, and whats persistent with him that doesn't really fit there to better help the docs, and minimize the wrong diagnosis or over labeling.

    Unusual behaviors started well before any diagnosis or medication involvement. He currently can't carry on any really meaningful conversations, and "I don't know" is/has been his theme but he does show facial/body expressions. No issues with fabrics that I am aware of but he doesn't like having to chew a lot. As far as loud noises go..some bug him but others don't.

    Heh were pretty sure the ADHD diagnosis with him was spot on. Were just still trying to better define what might be related to that, and what isn't. Can't think of a better place to ask or seek than you all. :)

  5. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    It sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), the obsession part, to me. My daughter had an irrational fear of zombies and then Chuckie, even though she had never seen the movie. We did CBT/ERP therapy for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) with her, where she had to basically immerse herself in the fear to see that it would go away.

    There is a good book called "What to Do When Your Child Has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)" by Aureen Pinto Wagner that you could read to see what you think. We took my daughter to a therapist that used her technique and it was very effective.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Actually in my opinion it sounds like Aspergers Syndrome in which obsessions are a big thing as are irrational fears. in my opinion it sounds like more than ADHD.

    This is Autism-light and is a neurological difference, not a mental illness so I would have him see a neuropsychologist rather than a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists often miss this...they certainly did with MY son. Your son is lacking maturity and social skills, another huge red flag. I'd look into it.

    Good luck, whatever you decide to do. I will link you to a forum about Aspergers so you can read about it. Please remember that no child with Aspergers exhibits every symptom. If he had a speech delay, regardless of poor hearing, he may have Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified instead. Most kids have unclear speech if their hearing is bad, but don't have an actual delay in talking at all nor do they grunt or just point (my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) did this though). Well, here ya go:
  7. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I agree that it sounds like a LOT more than adhd. He certainly seems to have adhd, but there is much more going on. Aspergers or another autism spectrum disorder (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) seems to fit from what you have posted.

    Adhd is often part of aspergers. The obsessions are also part. Obsessions are HUGE for aspies. They can drive you nuts.

    We have had excellent results from child and adolescent psychiatrists - they are getting more and more training/info on these disorders and can be helpful in managing the symptoms. Managing symptoms is all that medication can do for an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). They cannot "cure" or "fix" it, but they can make a HUGE difference in the behavior and quality of life of a difficult child.

    Just because a couple of us here thing aspergers may be what is going on does NOT mean that you should only focus on this. Many disorders present in similar ways, esp with a child this young. The diagnosis probably will change and evolve over the years. This is one reason that you need several professionals on board. The psychiatrist (psychiatrist) is one, the neuropsychologist is another, and tdocs are also needed.

    I also strongly suggest that you find a private Occupational Therapist (OT) and have him evaluated for sensory integration problems. Schools have OTs but they usually focus only on how problems impact school, not on his entire life. A private Occupational Therapist (OT) will be much more thorough. Help for sensory issues is not medication based and often is enjoyable for both the child and parent/Occupational Therapist (OT). You can learn more about this by reading "The Out of Sync Child" by Kranowitz. You can also find activities to help provide sensory input in "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun" by the same author. Usually the activities your son seeks out are the ones he needs, so if you look at the book and see some ideas he would like it can help you figure out how to help.

    I hope you can get some help soon.