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Substance Abuse
Is detaching ok right now? Or cruel?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 680928" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>First of all it is ok for you to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and if that means cutting of all communication then so be it.</p><p></p><p>However I do think there is more middle ground....You can decide you are not going to call him or check his phone or any of that. Turn your phone to silent at night so you can sleep. If he calls you and is obviously high you don't need to talk to him. If he calls and is abusive in any way or tells you to stay out of his life you do not need to listen to that. You can hang up.</p><p></p><p>You do not need to give him any money.... Especially if he is using. You do not need to provide him a place to sleep. If he is in Florida it is not that cold and there are beaches with soft sand to sleep on. (My son has done this). </p><p></p><p>So to me detaching is not necessarily about cutting off all contact but it is about living your own life and untying your happiness to his.</p><p></p><p>So think about what is really realistic for you and what you will feel most at peace with. And then do that. Seriously you need to take care of yourself first.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 680928, member: 15801"] First of all it is ok for you to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself and if that means cutting of all communication then so be it. However I do think there is more middle ground....You can decide you are not going to call him or check his phone or any of that. Turn your phone to silent at night so you can sleep. If he calls you and is obviously high you don't need to talk to him. If he calls and is abusive in any way or tells you to stay out of his life you do not need to listen to that. You can hang up. You do not need to give him any money.... Especially if he is using. You do not need to provide him a place to sleep. If he is in Florida it is not that cold and there are beaches with soft sand to sleep on. (My son has done this). So to me detaching is not necessarily about cutting off all contact but it is about living your own life and untying your happiness to his. So think about what is really realistic for you and what you will feel most at peace with. And then do that. Seriously you need to take care of yourself first. [/QUOTE]
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Is detaching ok right now? Or cruel?
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