Childofmine
one day at a time
Wow, Easter has been hard. I went to the brunch at church and then church with SO. From the minute I walked in, I felt out of touch. I made an excuse to go to the store and get some bottled water and was able to leave the brunch for about 20 minutes.
Church was packed with people of course, and the music was achingly beautiful. But even before that, two little girls processed down the aisle with tall streamers waving and whirling that reached 30 feet into the air. They were so beautiful and hopeful. Easter lilies were everywhere, some ladies wore hats, and everybody was dressed in spring colors. The sun is shining today, and the sky is blue.
I didn't want to cry the whole time but I also knew I needed to let go of my feelings, so I tried to cry quietly. How Great Thou Art, Majesty and other beautiful songs really made the tears flow.
I was drifting, thinking about difficult child being in jail today on this most hopeful of days, and how to tap into the hope that I know is always there, available for him, if he wants it.
SO and I didn't make any plans with friends today. My easy child and his fiancee are five hours away and SO's older daughter is a day's drive away and his younger daughter is in town but she has other plans. We may see her later tonight.
So, no big dinner, etc. I took a nap when I got home from church (exhausted!) and now I'm working on grad school stuff.
I am better, but still kind of melancholy.
Feeings aren't facts, so I have been taught, so I am just trying to feel my feelings, realize this is a big Family Day and that's hard with one son in jail. This too shall pass.
How has your Easter been today? I hope good.
Church was packed with people of course, and the music was achingly beautiful. But even before that, two little girls processed down the aisle with tall streamers waving and whirling that reached 30 feet into the air. They were so beautiful and hopeful. Easter lilies were everywhere, some ladies wore hats, and everybody was dressed in spring colors. The sun is shining today, and the sky is blue.
I didn't want to cry the whole time but I also knew I needed to let go of my feelings, so I tried to cry quietly. How Great Thou Art, Majesty and other beautiful songs really made the tears flow.
I was drifting, thinking about difficult child being in jail today on this most hopeful of days, and how to tap into the hope that I know is always there, available for him, if he wants it.
SO and I didn't make any plans with friends today. My easy child and his fiancee are five hours away and SO's older daughter is a day's drive away and his younger daughter is in town but she has other plans. We may see her later tonight.
So, no big dinner, etc. I took a nap when I got home from church (exhausted!) and now I'm working on grad school stuff.
I am better, but still kind of melancholy.
Feeings aren't facts, so I have been taught, so I am just trying to feel my feelings, realize this is a big Family Day and that's hard with one son in jail. This too shall pass.
How has your Easter been today? I hope good.