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Is Easter hard for anybody else?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 625561" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I think you have hit on the absolute answer. Getting out of my own head about things I cannot change and doing something for somebody else is the pathway to peace. Thank you Pas. I am going to remember this and do better planning on the front end next time. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know that part of my problem on Sunday has been the growing realization since difficult child got arrested nearly three weeks ago that I have not accepted the reality of him. I have still been holding my breath, every single day, waiting for "the change" to occur. I have stopped enabling, I have detached with love fairly well, but i have not accepted. I have been dealing with the disappointment in myself on this issue for the past week or so, and I think it culminated on Sunday with more grief for him and for me.</p><p></p><p>I know that I can only be where I am in my recovery. I am getting to "okay" with that now. But I truly thought I had accepted more than I have. As I told a close friend on the phone yesterday, I just wish God would say to me, clearly: Things are not going to change with him for a long, long, long time (decades, ever, in your lifetime) whatever the timeline is. I think then I would stop waiting and start accepting more. However, that isn't going to happen, obviously. And in the lack of that happening, I still have to figure out how to accept. </p><p></p><p>The work ahead of me is clear. I am going to redouble my efforts to focus on myself. </p><p></p><p>I went to Al-Anon yesterday and it turned out to be a wonderful thing to do. For a long time, nobody else showed up. I decided to sit there and read my Courage to Change book. I ended up going to the Index and reading all of the entries on Acceptance, then other "A" listings. 20 minutes into the meeting time, one person came. Then 10 minutes later another person came. We had a meeting. We also talked about the three As.</p><p></p><p>Awareness. Acceptance. Action.</p><p></p><p>Between each one we are reminded to feel our feelings. Not necessarily act on them, but feel them. </p><p></p><p>It was a good thing for me to focus on.</p><p></p><p>I am doing much better yesterday and today. I am in grief again---I see that. </p><p></p><p>Thanks to you all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 625561, member: 17542"] I think you have hit on the absolute answer. Getting out of my own head about things I cannot change and doing something for somebody else is the pathway to peace. Thank you Pas. I am going to remember this and do better planning on the front end next time. I know that part of my problem on Sunday has been the growing realization since difficult child got arrested nearly three weeks ago that I have not accepted the reality of him. I have still been holding my breath, every single day, waiting for "the change" to occur. I have stopped enabling, I have detached with love fairly well, but i have not accepted. I have been dealing with the disappointment in myself on this issue for the past week or so, and I think it culminated on Sunday with more grief for him and for me. I know that I can only be where I am in my recovery. I am getting to "okay" with that now. But I truly thought I had accepted more than I have. As I told a close friend on the phone yesterday, I just wish God would say to me, clearly: Things are not going to change with him for a long, long, long time (decades, ever, in your lifetime) whatever the timeline is. I think then I would stop waiting and start accepting more. However, that isn't going to happen, obviously. And in the lack of that happening, I still have to figure out how to accept. The work ahead of me is clear. I am going to redouble my efforts to focus on myself. I went to Al-Anon yesterday and it turned out to be a wonderful thing to do. For a long time, nobody else showed up. I decided to sit there and read my Courage to Change book. I ended up going to the Index and reading all of the entries on Acceptance, then other "A" listings. 20 minutes into the meeting time, one person came. Then 10 minutes later another person came. We had a meeting. We also talked about the three As. Awareness. Acceptance. Action. Between each one we are reminded to feel our feelings. Not necessarily act on them, but feel them. It was a good thing for me to focus on. I am doing much better yesterday and today. I am in grief again---I see that. Thanks to you all. [/QUOTE]
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Is Easter hard for anybody else?
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