is facing our demons a good thing?

witzend

Well-Known Member
I have looked at this post for several days and not known what to say because I don't want to sound glib about something so serious. I honestly have not looked at any of the responses, but I have read the original question a few times.

I think that facing our demons is a good thing, with reservations. If it's a stumbling block that you just can't overcome, maybe it's best to say that you can revisit the question later on with a clearer idea of what it is that's stopping you from moving on. But moving on should be the goal.

Realistically, the demons usually face us before we are ready to face them. I think that we need to do what we can to heal and feel good about ourselves, and until we are ready to say "that demon is wrong, and it just doesn't matter to me anymore" it's ok to say "I'm not ready to face it right now." But make no mistake, if the demon is stopping you from the basics, you've looked the demon in the eye, and you are losing the battle. (Not necessarily the war.)

Just MHO.

good morning

hope everyone's having good sunday morning :)

we went out for a few drinks last night and wow my head is hurting me bad..........:( LOL

anyway, so i have a question, random and has nothing to do with our kids who struggle or the men we share our lives with.........but more of an us question

do you think facing your demons in life (those little things in your emotional closet) a good thing???

what do you think???

jen
 

Jena

New Member
wow that's hard and i'm sorry that you weren't able to face it. i will def. look for that book though.

it's hard to overcome that type of abuse it truly is. thing with me is that person keeps trying to contact periodically to mend the broken bridge sort of thing. tries telling me he's dying, etc. to get me to go. sends money on occassion to kids and i to feed his guilt etc.

so i try to escape him but cna't truly. clearly now's not the time but the time will come soon.

i'm trying to avoid the graveside thing too. he's getting older and always thought that would be the way standing there so if i can avoid taht i'd like to . just so many more important things for my own kids and myself right now i need to handle.

but like i said he's on my list......:)

thanks for sharing that, it's never an easy thing to share. it's taken me years to not be embarrassed by it and to not blame myself (he blamed me for it all hence the way i looked sort of thing). even looking at it differently can be and has been healthy.

the way i see it facing it or not and just realizing it's there whatever our method may be to heal ourselves is always a good thing, makes us better people hence better parents.

thanks for sharing that
Jen
 

Jena

New Member
correction on that last one i type so fast you did face it i meant i'm sorry you couldn't do it face to face.
 

1905

Well-Known Member
That demon only face when your ready. Only do it to heal yourself. If you think it will feel good to say what you've got to, better than holding it in, do it. Bring boyfriend, let him say some things too. My husband knows all about my parents -and as a 3rd party has given them their due. My bff has a dad she never met until she went to court when she was 8. She got all dressed up, wanting him to see how pretty she was, and here is what he said in front of the judge to her: If you ever see me, cross the street and pretend you don't know me. ---how sad is that. Before he died about 7 years a go, he sent her a check for 10,ooo dollars. She didn't want anything- but her mom told her to take it. f him. Some people don't deserve children, they screw up their lives so bad it can make you cry. 2 kids in my school, He doesn't deserve your kindness that's it.-Alyssa
 
N

Nomad

Guest
Yes..I think it is a part of life and a part of growth. It's a good thing.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
More thoughts...


About moving on. husband and I talked with our therapist about forgiveness and moving on. He said that with people like my family, who are so invested in keeping me in the scapegoat role, my forgiveness of them is a good thing, and that is probably as far as it goes. He said that to forgive, there has to be some harm. Harm is a debt, and forgiving the harm is writing off the debt. Unfortunately, with my family, they keep waving a check in my face and saying "See this check? It pays the debt I owe you and I'm not giving it to you!" So, I wrote off the debt, and they languish on owing me anyway in an effort to add to the bill. There's nothing you can do with people like that. Other than know that you don't care about the debt any longer, and not allow them any more credit.
 
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