Is he supposed

[klmno]

to love this place? I called this psychiatric hospital (really-Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) and difficult child happened to be passing thru so they let me speak to him a minute. He is so excited and seems to love the structure and extra supports. This makes me wonder, assuming medications get straighteened out and some point he is let out of detention, is there any way to get an sd to pay for placement in a military school or boarding school? Maybe he's just one of those kids that thrive better on that???

Oh- I'll be off board a couple of days starting in a few hours...

 

[CrazyinVA]

wow.. that's pretty amazing.. I wouldn't hold your breath,though,, could be the whole "honeymoon" thing. Give it a few days!

 

[klmno]

Oh, I'm sure it's a honeymoon and it won't always be exciting in a good way for him. LOL! But, I do think he might thrive more in a very structured setting- more structure than a private, typical household. Do sd's ever pay for placements like that? And, I found out today- he's being committed (assuming this is approved by their court tomorrow) for being a danger to his mother.

I just rec'd a petition re. his hearing tomorrow. It says he was tdo'd for suicide risk.

So, now other's definitely see what I've been trying to tell them. Thank "HP" they took all this serious before it was too late.

 

[CrazyinVA]

I don't think they'd pay for any alternative placement that wasn't deemed "therapeutic." But RTCs are extremely structured. It might be worth noting for future IEPs that he needs as much structure as possible, maybe there are some accommodations they could work in.

Well, he was a danger to you, as hard as that is to accept. I'm sorry.

 

[smallworld]

We may be looking for a therapeutic boarding school for our son, and we were told by our Special Education attorney that it would be almost impossible to get our SD to pay for it. They would be more willing to pay for a local therapeutic day school. In this time of economic hardship and budget cuts, I suspect it will be even harder to get SDs to shoulder the financial burden of big-ticket items.

 

[klmno]

Well- if the option is Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or therapeutic boarding school (I didn't know there was a difference) - wouldn't boarding school cost less and sd have to pay for educational component and funding pay for rest if it was deemed necessary?

 

[smallworld]

klmno, I'm just not sure. I know that in our situation, we would have to fork over most of the money ourselves because I believe what our sped attorney says about our SD, we don't qualify for funding and our private health insurance doesn't cover residential programs. Our SD might cover a therapeutic day school, which has therapists on staff, but not psychiatrists.

Again in our situation, we are looking at a therapeutic boarding school because our son, for the most part, is stable on his medications. He needs intensive therapy to learn how to engage in school and to take responsility for himself. He's making very little progress with once-a-week therapy. An Residential Treatment Center (RTC) handles diagnosis, treatment and therapy, which is what your difficult child may very well need.

 

[DammitJanet]

K...he may very well like this place. Cory loved wilderness camp and he was there far longer than most kids are in most placements.

If you cant get anyone to pay for a placement you can get a Sallie Mae loan to pay for this type of school.

 

[klmno]

Geez...I don't know- you wouldn't believe the debt I've already incurred. And, nnot that I have to pay for all of this out of pocket, but where he is right now is over $1000 per DAY.

 

[aeroeng]

We were looking into the possibility of a military boarding school for our difficult child. One problem is that the military schools have entrance requirements based on grades and past performance. We dropped the idea because we figured he would never make it. Also they would kick him out if he exploded. They have lots of structure but are far from a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Grades and performance are important to stay and they don't have to put up with behavior issues. Even though the military aspect teaches discipline, they are really academic schools and do not provide therapy.

 

[DDD]

It might be that he is just completely relieved to be in a protective environment where he doesn't have to worry about keeping himself under control. on the other hand I would suggest that so much has happened this week that now is a good time to take a step back and chill....sounds like you are going to do that! Way To Go! DDD

 

[TerryJ2]

It's pretty common for kids to like those places. It is so calm and structured, and everyone is super nice.
My difficult child admitted, after he came home, "I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I kind of liked it there."

 

[butterflydreams]

my difficult child really did very well when he was at Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He seems to thrive in the strict environment of the psychiatric hospital and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) settings. He said as well that he did enjoy it but missed being home. I think if he could have had his dog there, he would have not minded being there even longer!

 

[luvmyottb]

Wow, at least he is happy. They do love the structure. It is impossible for us as parents to be able to provide that type of environment at home, but a lot of our kids love it. You have had a really difficult road and I hope you have been able to take good care of yourself. Sending you support and strength.

 

[DammitJanet]

I think SLSH and me probably have two of the kids that were in care the longest of any of the kids still on this board. She beats me because hers went in at either 7 or 8 and mine went in at 10. Hers has been in continuously though pretty much and mine did come home for some time periods.

You would have to ask her difficult child what he thinks about being in care but my kid really didnt mind it. He harbors no ill feelings towards us for all the treatment we tried over the years. I will be very interested in seeing how he "parents" his child. He has already said he wont put up with as much from her as we put up with from him...lol. I have no idea how he intends to stop it though.

 

[Wiped Out]

Klmno,
My difficult child has never been in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) but he loved the structure provided at the hospital, something we couldn't possibly duplicate at home.

 

[ML]

I'm glad he's doing better and that it sounds like the players involved are finally seeing what you've been saying for so long. Look forward to your return to the board. Hugs, ML

 

[susiestar]

Wiz sure didn't love the structure provided at the psychiatric hospital, but he thrived in it. He did like the structure at the acute psychiatric hospital the 2 stays he was there. They actually tried to give us a schedule to keep him on to make his life as structured as possible. Looking at it husband and I figured we would have to have 2 more adults in the home who were solely dedicated to Wiz and his schedule.

It just wasn't doable.

But don't be surprised if he likes the place. Esp during the honeymoon period.

I am glad they see the danger to you (and to himself) before it was too late. I just hope they continue to realize the danger. It is such a rough place to be in, to realize your child is a danger to you. It will hit you pretty hard in a few days. Take the time to work through your feelings in whatever way works for you. I wrote letters to Wiz and husband that I NEVER sent. I destroyed them a day or so after I wrote them. It let me pour out my feelings and my rage and my terror with-o hurting anyone.

Remember we are here and we are with you and we love you. Also remember we are with difficult child and we love him too.

Hugs,

Susie

 

[Ropefree]

klmno: wouldn't be the first time. Hear it all the time "kids like structure". Could be the outer curtainty acts to internalize that way of being. My wildy boy spent many hours up a tree with a cat. Never would have dreamed he would just sit tranquilly.
It was true. I have such high hopes for your boy. I am so very certain you have impressed the many people who are working on this along the way with your unwavering devotion and determination...That boy will reflect that all to you again and this acceptance he is sharing may be his desire to do that.