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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 687275" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>I think it is many things. Personal failure plays a role bc I just don't get it. She was not raised this way or around this. I am just so tired. When there is even a semblance of relationship, I bear the full load. Her interest in me goes as far as what she can get from me or what I will do for her. When I won't, she has no interest at all. It is like trying to play a tennis match with a partner who only holds the racquet. I put in all of the effort and get no return. If I even got glimpses of genuineness or honesty, moments of regret or apology, even a second of personal responsibility, I might feel the need to keep trying. </p><p></p><p>But I am tired, so so tired, and I am just ready to lay it down. Perhaps only for now, perhaps not. That depends on her. It would take a lot of long term sustained and visible change and effort on her part and I don't think she ever will. A dirty secret? I thinks she hates me. I think she resents me. I feel it in her voice and see it in her eyes. I don't think she wants to hate me, but she does. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry I emotionally vomited all over the forum. That is what it feels like and while it is messy and dirty, it feels better to have it out because in the real world, I have to keep it in. And holding it in just makes it grow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 687275, member: 19905"] I think it is many things. Personal failure plays a role bc I just don't get it. She was not raised this way or around this. I am just so tired. When there is even a semblance of relationship, I bear the full load. Her interest in me goes as far as what she can get from me or what I will do for her. When I won't, she has no interest at all. It is like trying to play a tennis match with a partner who only holds the racquet. I put in all of the effort and get no return. If I even got glimpses of genuineness or honesty, moments of regret or apology, even a second of personal responsibility, I might feel the need to keep trying. But I am tired, so so tired, and I am just ready to lay it down. Perhaps only for now, perhaps not. That depends on her. It would take a lot of long term sustained and visible change and effort on her part and I don't think she ever will. A dirty secret? I thinks she hates me. I think she resents me. I feel it in her voice and see it in her eyes. I don't think she wants to hate me, but she does. I am sorry I emotionally vomited all over the forum. That is what it feels like and while it is messy and dirty, it feels better to have it out because in the real world, I have to keep it in. And holding it in just makes it grow. [/QUOTE]
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Is it ever ok to just be "done?"
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