Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Is it genetics, or is sociopathy somehow connected to drug use
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 640840" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It was the same with our children. Both were (and still are, <em>when they are not using</em>, bright, empathic, pleased to be where they are people with that special "something on the ball" feel to them. When they are using, they become...I suppose cynical would be one word to describe it. They become entitled and, hand in hand with that feeling of entitlement, they seem to become resentful, manipulative people for whom nothing is ever quite enough. </p><p></p><p>Generosity and empathy seem to be replaced with a cutting humor, with a kind of sarcastic world view.</p><p></p><p>I think back to Christmas presents received from my kids. Some of the most beautiful, thoughtful gifts I have ever received have come from my children. That kind of thing, that ability to know and take pleasure in giving that special thing that will be cherished for years ~ those kinds of gifts would be impossible for them to choose, now.</p><p></p><p>I'm not sure what I am trying to describe, but that feeling is part of what is missing these days.</p><p></p><p>There is no honor, of course. What does that do to us, to lose the sense of honoring our parents because we have stolen from them, because we have abused trust to make fools and victims of people who love us. There again, is it that drug use erases the shame response that keeps us empathic, that keeps us human?</p><p></p><p>It must be a whole other level of Hell, to face that, once the kids stop using.</p><p></p><p>There is manipulation, and entitlement, and really, a deep and abiding resentment, a feeling of having been cheated, of having gone into a world very different than the one they were taught existed when they were little.</p><p></p><p>difficult child son especially will say things like: "Welcome to my life, Cedar." He calls both husband and I by our first names. He has said, many times, that we were terrible parents and that the only relationship he wants with us now is as "friends."</p><p></p><p>That is why he says he calls us by our first names.</p><p></p><p>At the same time, he resents that we never give him enough money. (We have stopped giving him money. As many of you know, now he wants us to sell him our house ~ but he cannot afford it, because if he moved there, he would have no job except for the one that pays zillions and that he is sure to get.) He blames us for where he is in life because we haven't done enough to prepare him for life as it is. He is so certain of this that we come to believe it, too. Every so often, I need to go back and tick off the things we have done, or I would fall into that trap simply because he is so certain.</p><p></p><p>difficult child daughter was different than difficult child son.</p><p></p><p>I think she may always have struggled with "normal."</p><p></p><p>Maybe that accounts for the depth of her downward spiral when drug use is involved. She loses everything, every time. Then, some miraculous somehow, she seems able to pull everything together again...but never while she is using either drugs or alcohol.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 640840, member: 17461"] It was the same with our children. Both were (and still are, [I]when they are not using[/I], bright, empathic, pleased to be where they are people with that special "something on the ball" feel to them. When they are using, they become...I suppose cynical would be one word to describe it. They become entitled and, hand in hand with that feeling of entitlement, they seem to become resentful, manipulative people for whom nothing is ever quite enough. Generosity and empathy seem to be replaced with a cutting humor, with a kind of sarcastic world view. I think back to Christmas presents received from my kids. Some of the most beautiful, thoughtful gifts I have ever received have come from my children. That kind of thing, that ability to know and take pleasure in giving that special thing that will be cherished for years ~ those kinds of gifts would be impossible for them to choose, now. I'm not sure what I am trying to describe, but that feeling is part of what is missing these days. There is no honor, of course. What does that do to us, to lose the sense of honoring our parents because we have stolen from them, because we have abused trust to make fools and victims of people who love us. There again, is it that drug use erases the shame response that keeps us empathic, that keeps us human? It must be a whole other level of Hell, to face that, once the kids stop using. There is manipulation, and entitlement, and really, a deep and abiding resentment, a feeling of having been cheated, of having gone into a world very different than the one they were taught existed when they were little. difficult child son especially will say things like: "Welcome to my life, Cedar." He calls both husband and I by our first names. He has said, many times, that we were terrible parents and that the only relationship he wants with us now is as "friends." That is why he says he calls us by our first names. At the same time, he resents that we never give him enough money. (We have stopped giving him money. As many of you know, now he wants us to sell him our house ~ but he cannot afford it, because if he moved there, he would have no job except for the one that pays zillions and that he is sure to get.) He blames us for where he is in life because we haven't done enough to prepare him for life as it is. He is so certain of this that we come to believe it, too. Every so often, I need to go back and tick off the things we have done, or I would fall into that trap simply because he is so certain. difficult child daughter was different than difficult child son. I think she may always have struggled with "normal." Maybe that accounts for the depth of her downward spiral when drug use is involved. She loses everything, every time. Then, some miraculous somehow, she seems able to pull everything together again...but never while she is using either drugs or alcohol. Cedar [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Is it genetics, or is sociopathy somehow connected to drug use
Top