Is it truly hypercritical? Vwnt/Rant/Steam Release Before My Head Spins

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Sep 7, 2012.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am hearing from husband and J that I have been 'hypercritical' this week. I did have a meltdown when I slipped in a puddle of laundry soap they just swept aside and then walked though and dripped water all over. I thought falling on my tushie because J and T couldn't bother to deal with a spill of THEIR making was not unreasonable. Was I wrong? I didn't yell or curse, just made it clear that it was NOT okay.

    I also took the broom and dustpan off of a stack of pots and pans we hadn't gotten put away yet (very little room in the kitchen and I love kitchen stuff). I interrupted husband's computer game and the episode of Smallville that J and T were watching. I really tried to get their attention with-o turning off the tv, but that didn't work. So I took the remote and paused the dvd. I did NOT raise my voice, call them names, or act/speak in a rude manner. I explained how germy and gross it was, and from that point I thought it was covered.

    Later that SAME night I found the broom on top of a bin that I store sprinkles in. This is an open bit,since each container of sprinkles is airtight like a spice jar. I was a lot less than thrilled, esp because it was the SAME broom that I had previously shown them ALL where it was to be kept. Heck, I even let them help pick the most logical place to keep it.

    I wasn't happy and made t known. I was a bit juvenile when I slammed the door as I left the room after insisting that the all 3 get up and take a turn putting the broom away so that they will know HOW to put it away. I would NEVER have done that except husband and thank you BOTH told me that they couldn't figure out how the hook worked. Putting the loopon the broom handle over the hook in the closet. You know, like almost every hook works!

    Is it hypercritical to expect my husband and kids to not put dirty, dust brooms and dustpans on top of food and/or food containers? Esp as they use that broom to sweep up after the litter box?

    I am getting very tired of hearing that every request I make that is about any type of cleaning/storage is being 'hypercritical'. I am NOT asking them to be perfect or clean perfectly. I just want trash put into the trash, and if they are washing a dish that it doesn't have something crusty or slimy on it, and if they get out something of mne then they put it away or tell me if it is damaged/used up. I do NOT yell or fuss if get angry if/when they tell me. Sometimes they have to replace the them, but lots of times I knew they had limited useful life and was prepared/preparing to replace them.

    So how hypercritical am I? According to them I am either hypercritical or they are shocked because I am not upset about whatever it is. I am NOT faking the not being upset, I simply expected it and moved on - whatever it was.

    Is it reasonable to ask my family to not put things they clean up cat doodoo with near anything that relates to food? Or is it hypercritical to expect them to pay attention to where they put the broom etc... so that it is at least not on food/food service/prep areas.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds perfectly logical but tell me how you get anyone to use a broom. My broom floats around the kitchen, living room and family room like a lost soul look for a home. I even have a pantry that it can go in but no one can manage to put it there unless I take it there. Instead it just sits around until the dog drags it down and starts chewing on it and then someone will yell at the dog, take it away and lean it against the counter.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Sounds logical to me too. I'm with Janet in that my kids know where the broom is but seem to have no idea how to use it and we only have THREE rooms in the entire house (2 bathrooms & a kitchen) that don't have carpet. Now that we have a dog (one that sheds) that is THEIRS, they have finally remembered how to use the vacuum (no vacuum, no dog helps). They know I mean it because they had a pet rabbit that I got rid of because they didn't clean the cage.

    :devil:Leave the litter scoop on their dinner plates???
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Well... I'm in a pretty big house, and... most of the items on your list? I don't get compliance with. Put something away? what a concept! In this house, you'd get a blank look. Trash in the trash can? They think trash cans are for Mommy. (at least, the kids do - husband is good about that one.)

    Running low needs to be reported? Well... if it matters to them, it does... they really didn't like it when we ran out of good stuff for school lunches and they had to eat like Mom and Dad. So, I found ways to connect the more basic stuff, with the stuff they love. I don't buy cookies anymore - we bake them. So... running out of flour, or chips, or raisins, or sugar, or butter or oats or anything else that can possibly go into all our favorite stuff? tends not to happen any more. Ditto... bread. And lunch meat (we cook ahead) and cheese (big blocks). You don't tell me we're running out? then YOU get to eat PB sandwiches while I get the last of the good stuff. For the record, haven't had to do that in several years.

    But... when it comes to anything to do with food and the kitchen in general... somehow, everyone but the dogs "get it". Really dirty dishes get soaked (no, the kids won't wash them, but they DO soak). Nothing used for general cleaning - and I mean nothing, comes into the kitchen, except the vacuum (it's the best plug in, and the kitchen floor gets vacuumed anyway). Nothing non-food goes into or around food storage areas. Even the kids wash their hands before doing anything in the kitchen. If my difficult child - who has hygene issues like many difficult child kids - can get the handwashing message, anyone can. That broom wouldn't ever show up around MY food.... and I really get why that would be a major issue.

    On the other hand? You just moved. Twice. How on earth are they going to be into any sort of routine or habits about this stuff? It's going to take months of re-training. So, can you find some creatively-nice ways to train? Treat them like doggies with positive reinforcement, lots of praise everytime they get it right, catch them doing it right?
  5. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    THEY think you're hypercritical when you want them to do something they were supposed to do anyway. That's not being hypercritical; that's teaching them to do what they're supposed to do. GO GET 'EM!!!
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    They don't have to note when normal things get used up. But once in a great while I have something that is just for me, generally NOT food, and those are the things that I need to be told about when they are used up and/or broken. When told they are broken I don't yell or make an ugly scene, just thank them for telling me and then i deal with it. But they still refuse to tell me and when I find a broken item put away like it was fine or the pieces hidden somewhere? I get angry.

    The idea that they would tell me when they used the last of something? HILARIOUS!!!:rofl:

    The broom in the dishes/sprinkles/whatever? I spent almost a year with positive reinforcement on that. Did NOTHING. no matter HOW I praised or rewarded. Throwing a fit? Seems to have made an impression, at least for now.

    I think they FINALLY understand that some of these rules are not just to be picky. I have yet to find any of this stuff that any amt of positive reinforcement helps. Creative consequences get me FAR better results.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Is it hypercritical to expect my husband and kids to not put dirty, dust brooms and dustpans on top of food and/or food containers? Esp as they use that broom to sweep up after the litter box?

    Of course it is. It is also hypercritical to tell them you expect them to spray for cockroaches or wipe their urine off of the toilet seats. Who are you, anyway, a contagious disease specialist?:rollingpin:
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I guess I'm lucky, my broom stays in it's spot in the corner along with the mop. This also means, of course, I'm the only one who uses it. lol

    Not the least bit hypercritical, unless their goal is to get sick.........
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Is hypercrytical a "MAN" made word - the esacerbates a females psyche in her own home standards where in she should NOT expect what comes out of a cats hiney to be NO WHERE NEAR a plate that a FAMILY is going to be eating food off of?

    WELL THEN????? CUT OUT THE MIDDLE "MAN" and start serving friggin dinner in the litter box..........SHHESH......

    Tell me not to open MY yap in my house about falling on my kiester, leaving food boxes open and picking up a turd? MAN he'd be lucky if he could stop ducking after 10 hours for the junk I'd be firing out the door at MY house.....because if the only way to get everyone to clean up after themselves is to get RID of everything they don't want to pitch in and clean up? """"""""You'd better duck........and have a big wagon."

    Catturd scoop where !!?My Aunt fannie. And you're disabled???? Yeah like that day would ever dawn again at the D.A. Ranch.

  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    and the more polite version is

    NO Susie Star you are NOT being critical. You are being pragmatic, sensible, and hygenic. (loans wagon)
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


    by the way, my note was sarcastic, just do you know ...
  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Star, you crack me UP!

    I ran some errands with husband and when we came home I had J put away some groceries and told thank you to clean the litterbox. Neither argues, which I was thankful for and praised them for.

    I did ask them what they thought would be on the broom and dustpan after the litterbox was cleaned. I pointed out that the 'dirt' would have a significant amt of cat feces. I then calmly told them that I didn't think they wanted that broom to be run across their plate before they ate the food on it. So why would it be on top of dishes or food containers or int he kitchen? (no answer, of course - I didn't think I would get one.)

    Then I made sure husband and the kids would not be eating dinner for a while. i told them that unless they were willing to lick the cat then they had best remember this lesson. husband wa SOOOO grossed out by that, lol! It wasn't aimed at him, and I explained this to him. He understands that to make a lasting impression I often have to use some graphic imagery, so to speak.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    GOOD for YOU!!!!!!!
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    High five -

    And the cat is probably sitting in the corner going "WTHeck did I do?"
  15. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Star, I swear that Captain Morgan knew what I was talking about - probably more than the kids. When I said that unless they were willing to lick the cat he got this "OMG WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT" look and gave the kids a glare that totally meant 'YOU HAD BETTER NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!!!:

    I do get tired of the cat understanding the rules and the reasons for them before my children do. Esp since I gave birth to THREE kids with genum IQ's (not joke, Wiz is the lowest scoring of the 3 of them).

    The cat s the smartest of us all though.