Is pot a problem for your adult kid?


Well-Known Member
I am not sure this post will get any traction. It's just a try to see if anyone even wants to discuss a possible correlation between daily pot use and failure to thrive. Of stifling development.

I say this as someone who knows a close relative who only smokes pot, nothing else. It is almost daily. I think it may.have held a very intellegent person from reaching full potential. The person does work full time. Pot also does not seem to help this person be more calm.

If anyone is interested in a discussion, here it is. If nobody is, hey, that's ok too. Maybe I'm the only one concerned about the possible side effect of lethargy/no motivation. And driving on pot.
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Well-Known Member
I don't know if pot is the problem or simply a symptom for our kid.

I know when he was doing it nearly daily, it was a problem of course. I know that he probably still smokes - though how often is certainly a question as he's had little money. I'm sure his problems all started about the same time as his interest in pot. I'm sure it led to the stealing and failing college. But whether he began smoking because he had other issues, or his other issues were caused by it, as opposed to simply being exacerbated?

It's almost a chicken and egg thing.


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
I think pot is a problem for adult children that have other issues going on. I think social use of pot and drinking can be fine for some but horribly for others (i.e. my son). I tend to put both in the same category. I don't know why, I just do.

I think that many of our children on this board have other issues and like Lil said, who knows what is really to blame.

I think for my son it was a gateway drug. He will deny that. He will deny anything negative at all about pot.


Shooting from the Hip
Belle, until she got pregnant, smoked, probably a few times a day. However, she was doing pretty well, so I didn't really worry (plus it's legal where she is... With a card). I started to worry when she told us about the baby, but she says she completely quit because she wanted the baby healthy. :biggrin:


Well-Known Member
Anyone have a failure to launch problem whose adult child is not autistic or a pot smoker?

I dont think once a week pot is a problem. I do think every day pot use likely is, regardless of why it started. To me it seems as if the underachieving adult children on this forum at least are pot fans. This relative believes pot is GOOD for you. He is not physically sick in any way so I cant argue this. But he is a very high IQ man, close to middle age, who does work full time now, but is prone to quitting jobs and staying home for a few months, not doing much, while his wife works. She blames the pot and it is csusing marital problems. Although he says pot calms him down, he is volatile.
I have never been a fan of heavy drinking either, but im not sure alcohol kills motivation.
Any other thoughts? Friendly ones? :)


Well-Known Member
This relative believes pot is GOOD for you. He is not physically sick in any way so I cant argue this.

Smoking is smoking. Pot smoking is still putting smoke in your lungs and can cause cancer just like cigarettes. It isn't good for you.

Now, edibles may not hurt you...and clearly there are a lot of medical benefits to marijuana, but smoking can't be "good" regardless.

is prone to quitting jobs and staying home for a few months, not doing much, while his wife works

That sounds like a pot smoker. At least, what I've seen of them.

Although he says pot calms him down, he is volatile.

This sounds exactly like my kid. He used to tell me that it was the only thing that made him happy and he wanted to be happy for just a little while. :( I find that very sad. But that didn't make him any less moody and bad tempered when it wore off.

Cigarettes are a stimulant, but they still calm people down. When I began quitting in January my "quit coach" explained it's the breathing that really does the trick. You take a big, slow drag on the cigarette, blow out slowly, and that is what physically relaxes you.

Between that and the drug itself, I'm sure pot does "calm you down", but that effect wears off when the high does.

I have never been a fan of heavy drinking either, but im not sure alcohol kills motivation.

Of course it does. While there are plenty of functional alcoholics, there are plenty of people who just want to sit around drinking all day and since alcohol is a depressant, I'm sure it that makes it worse.

In the end, I'd say pot has a lot in common with alcohol...without the hangovers.


Well-Known Member
I think daily pot use is definitely a demotivater. Certainly pot was a big problem for my son and led to other drug use. He is probably not the best example because he is addicted to using substances.

BUT from my own experience as a college student 40 years ago I think pot is a demotivater. I went through a period in college where I lived in a house with a guy who sold pot and we all smoked pot every evening. And I just stopped caring about things. It just didn't matter. The only thing that saved my grades that semester is that I got really sick right before finals and had to postpone them all until after Xmas break... So I had some extra time to study and pull it together. And I realized that pot was a problem, moved out of that house and stopped smoking it often.

So yeah I think smoking pot on a regular or daily basis I could contribute to a failure to thrive for young adults.


Well-Known Member
In looking back I would say that the "fake and legal" pot was very harmful to my son, and I wonder if it might have even caused some chemical changes I am not sure he ever rebounded from.

"Real" pot is a different story, at least now. If I *had* to make a choice for him, it would definitely be pot over alcohol. Quite frankly, he is much nicer and actually fairly level-headed when he smokes pot. But he never got it every day or smoked it long enough for lethargy to set in (not legal in our state). Alcohol is a different story -- easy access 24/7, and he is not pleasant to be around when he has been drinking.

My personal experience with pot is much like toughlovin's. When I smoked every day I quit caring. Good thing we ran out hahaha


Active Member
I think pot has caused my son to be less motivated and his thinking is that of someone about 6 years younger than he is. He did well in school until he started smoking pot. His grades went down hill after he started with pot. I feel the pot increased his anxiety even though he swears that pot is the only thing that relaxes him and helps him sleep.


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
My son actually admitted that pot helps his anxiety but also makes him more anxious. I think a lot of anxiety comes in to play when they have no money for "more".

Almost wish they would prescribe medical marijuana for anxiety. From what I understand it does not get one "high" but has benefits. Sounds like the perfect thing if true.


Well-Known Member
Depends on the person.

Pot made me have anxiety which is being anxious. Cant have one without the other. Anxiety IS the feeling of being anxious. Also pot is known for paranoia and it did that to me too. I was not calm or even high.

Not one drug on earth is the same for everyone. Pot makes many people worse, like all drugs, even over the counter drugs. Our body chemistries vary.


Well-Known Member
Made me sleepy.

Must affect others differently, because sleepy seems like the least "fun" way to party, to me.

Tried it once and never again.

Marcie Mac

Just Plain Ole Tired
I tried to keep Cheech from pot as long as possible. He smokes (has a financial interest in a Medical Pot Store). He also drinks to excess. I would rather him stop drinking than stop smoking. Alcohol makes him nasty - pot keeps him calm and mellow. I smoked pot when I was in my early 20's - it did lead to other drugs to try but they were one try drugs - Even though I am a former difficult child, I do NOT like to be out of control so moved on.

I do have a Medical MJ card and I do use the edibles (sometimes smoking) only because I didn't like being on the pain medications I am supposed to be taking. I have cut those down to almost nothing -only take them when I have to do something strenuous (like heavy duty cleaning) SO will take an edible cut in half as he suffers at times from Migraines. He has a morphine pump, but that stuff only makes his headaches worse. Having said that, I do NOT buy from Cheech's store - have my own place to go to and he doesn't know where.


Well-Known Member
My kid turns into a maniac when he smokes pot. I don't know if he will go back to it when he gets out of the phys. therapy hospital.


Active Member
My son tells us that pot is the one thing that makes life worth living. That it makes him happy. I find that very confusing though because when he started smoking is also when he starting showing signs of depression and anxiety and stopped working hard in school and dropped sports. Its all good and well when he is "high" as he is very mellow and agreeable and probably not feeling anxious. Of course he can't be high every minute of his life. And he is smart enough to know he won't live the life he dreams of having to rely on marijuana which has to cause him stress. I agree with you RN, a medical marijuana that eases anxiety without the high sounds very appealing. I have to admit in my most desperate moments with him, I have even wondered if we could pursue that for him.


Well-Known Member
I only tried it a couple of law school. :p A boyfriend had it. I enjoyed it quite a lot. Made me relaxed, hungry, sleepy and rather ahem amorous.

Certainly wasn't great enough to do when there was a prayer of getting caught. Still illegal here and there's NO way I would take that chance.


Well-Known Member
I liked the way music sounded. About it lol.

I think people seem calm on pot because it slows your system down so you cant react in a timely fashion (something I find a scary driving risk) .... I think one can seem very calm and mellow and be anxious inside. I know I probably seemed lethargic. Inside my heart was racing and I just wanted to feel normal again.

I would use it for pain if I had it and didnt have to smoke the part. Any paain medication makes me hallucinate. Cant even take codeine. Pot at least didnt cause hallucinations.

in a daze

Well-Known Member
My guy has a motivation problem (better these days goes to work consistently) but does not do pot, although I know he's tried it. Has abused everything but pot....alcohol, opiates, benzodiazepines, stimulants.