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Failure to Thrive
Is relinquishing custody best for everyone's safety?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747156" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear James</p><p></p><p>Some of questions you ask are legal ones and you would best be advised to seek legal counsel, with respect to the ramifications of your decision.</p><p></p><p>I agree with the others. He should not be home or close to your family. Too much has already happened. Not only is he dangerous. He has not responded to living in a family situation. What good could come of it? He requires a setting where he can possibly be helped. There is no point to returning to a situation that clearly is not only highly risky, but insufficient for him. He is served by being contained and treated.</p><p></p><p>There are many parents that relinquish parental rights, for reasons that you describe, but also when their child needs medical treatment that is unavailable to parents. It is not you who is choosing this. The circumstances are mandating your range of choices. If you are no longer able to fund care for him, and he is unsafe in your home, what other choice do you have? From what you say he needs round the clock custodial care. He may for the rest of his life.</p><p></p><p>What you do not speak to is his level of attachment to the family. Does he have any relationships to which he responds? I cannot get a feel whether these vicious things he does and says are sporadic and there are periods of normalcy or closeness. This does not alter what is possible or necessary, but it may change how you approach this.</p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you and to your wife. And to your son.</p><p></p><p>PS If you are in the US have you spoken with Regional Center. I understand they assist children and adults with developmental disorders. Perhaps they would be a source of funding. Also, what about an IEP? The school district would be on the hook to pay for a large portion of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), because he has qualifying disabilities for an IEP. Again, that is in the USA.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747156, member: 18958"] Dear James Some of questions you ask are legal ones and you would best be advised to seek legal counsel, with respect to the ramifications of your decision. I agree with the others. He should not be home or close to your family. Too much has already happened. Not only is he dangerous. He has not responded to living in a family situation. What good could come of it? He requires a setting where he can possibly be helped. There is no point to returning to a situation that clearly is not only highly risky, but insufficient for him. He is served by being contained and treated. There are many parents that relinquish parental rights, for reasons that you describe, but also when their child needs medical treatment that is unavailable to parents. It is not you who is choosing this. The circumstances are mandating your range of choices. If you are no longer able to fund care for him, and he is unsafe in your home, what other choice do you have? From what you say he needs round the clock custodial care. He may for the rest of his life. What you do not speak to is his level of attachment to the family. Does he have any relationships to which he responds? I cannot get a feel whether these vicious things he does and says are sporadic and there are periods of normalcy or closeness. This does not alter what is possible or necessary, but it may change how you approach this. My heart goes out to you and to your wife. And to your son. PS If you are in the US have you spoken with Regional Center. I understand they assist children and adults with developmental disorders. Perhaps they would be a source of funding. Also, what about an IEP? The school district would be on the hook to pay for a large portion of the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), because he has qualifying disabilities for an IEP. Again, that is in the USA. [/QUOTE]
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Is relinquishing custody best for everyone's safety?
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