Hi mattsmum
I'm going to assume your child has an IEP. If he doesn't, the following doesn't apply.
A child's IEP controls placement. Placement is not actually a "place" unless the IEP specifically includes a particular campus, treatment center, etc., -- it's the contents of the IEP.
No one can override the IEP -- not even the Superintendent. It is the IEP Committee that makes these type decisions. And you, the parent, are a full committee member.
The principal's concerns are understandable, however, she can't just bar your son from school in this manner. What should have happened here is an IEP meeting should have been called. Based on what you've written, it doesn't sound as if that happened.
As an IEP Committee Member, you have the right to call an IEP meeting.
It is the school district's responsibility to educate your child. If they can not do that on a mainstream campus, then the IEP needs to be changed to whatever your child needs whether it is a theraputic day school, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), etc. If they do not have an appropriate sd facility and/or personnel, then they must contract with a private facility -- even if the facility is out-of-state.
What do you do if they want to place him on homebound and you do not feel that is an appropriate placement? You say, "No." One option would be that they can provide a 1:1 paraprofessional while "waiting."
Again, as a committee member, you have the right to make recommendations to the committee whether it is something as simple as recommending a minor modification such as a particular behavior management technique or a major change such as ABC Residential Treatment Center.
How do you do that most effectively? Use a Parent Attachment to the IEP. See
http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/tips/bonnell.iep.attach.htm .
Misc info:
*Often parents feel out-numbered in IEP meetings. There's usually one parent and a number sd members. Always remember when there's a disagreement that there are just two "votes" so to speak; parents have one, sd has one.
*A parent has the same right to reconvene a meeting as a school district does. If, for instance, you are in an IEP meeting and need to gather more information to present to sd members, "reconvene" the meeting.
*If a parent needs the assistance of an advocate, get one lined up. Don't wait until there's a crisis.
*State Education Agencies have some type of pre-approved list for private providers that school districts can use in instances where the district cannot provide an IEP student services -- such as RTCs. That doesn't mean a parent can't request a different facility.