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Family of Origin
Is there a time we can and should say good-bye to our past?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664266" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Can we sort out differences with other people who will not speak to us as if we are even human?</p><p></p><p>I do not think so. That is the lesson of the French Soldier and the English.</p><p></p><p>At first he approaches his dialog with them in a reasonable tone.</p><p></p><p>It is only after they will not engage with him even as a person...that he calls them out.</p><p></p><p>They refuse him dignity.</p><p>They assert their needs as superior.</p><p>They will not listen.</p><p>They do not hear him, really.</p><p>They hear only themselves, their own voices.</p><p>To the English, everything about the castle is already theirs. In their minds, they already own it. In their minds they have already entered and possessed it.</p><p></p><p>It is this that the French Soldier checks. And even at the end of it, the English do not get it one bit.</p><p></p><p>They never even credited the French Soldier as existing, really. How could he have ever really spoken to them in a way they would understand? To the English he existed only as a thing...a way to realize what they wanted and needed.</p><p></p><p>How do you have a dialog to sort out differences, if one party starts the conversation believing theirs is the only voice that even exists, let alone matters?</p><p></p><p>We are defeated before we even start a conversation. Because, a priori, we do not exist, to the other person. Let alone have merit, rights, or interests.</p><p></p><p>The only conversation to work out differences we can have, I think, is within our own heads.</p><p></p><p>The sad thing is we hold ourselves responsible for the failure of the conversations. We blame ourselves that because when we do try...our attempts fail.</p><p></p><p>We never even existed to them as individual and deserving people. How could they ever have listened? If they did not even give us person hood?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664266, member: 18958"] Can we sort out differences with other people who will not speak to us as if we are even human? I do not think so. That is the lesson of the French Soldier and the English. At first he approaches his dialog with them in a reasonable tone. It is only after they will not engage with him even as a person...that he calls them out. They refuse him dignity. They assert their needs as superior. They will not listen. They do not hear him, really. They hear only themselves, their own voices. To the English, everything about the castle is already theirs. In their minds, they already own it. In their minds they have already entered and possessed it. It is this that the French Soldier checks. And even at the end of it, the English do not get it one bit. They never even credited the French Soldier as existing, really. How could he have ever really spoken to them in a way they would understand? To the English he existed only as a thing...a way to realize what they wanted and needed. How do you have a dialog to sort out differences, if one party starts the conversation believing theirs is the only voice that even exists, let alone matters? We are defeated before we even start a conversation. Because, a priori, we do not exist, to the other person. Let alone have merit, rights, or interests. The only conversation to work out differences we can have, I think, is within our own heads. The sad thing is we hold ourselves responsible for the failure of the conversations. We blame ourselves that because when we do try...our attempts fail. We never even existed to them as individual and deserving people. How could they ever have listened? If they did not even give us person hood? [/QUOTE]
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Is there a time we can and should say good-bye to our past?
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