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Family of Origin
Is there a time we can and should say good-bye to our past?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 664294" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh, I never meant to stop exploring or letting them back in or forgiving. I don't get the concept of forgiveness as it has been defined in some religions. I can not neutralize and wipe out what they did to me when they have no remorse. I can't and won't and don't feel bad or worse about myself for that. I just wondered if there is a time to move on.</p><p></p><p>I think there is. But that doesn't mean we forget what happened. It colors who we are.</p><p></p><p>Maybe we should write down the good things that came out of unloving mothers. With me, I developed a very strong social conscience and an unshakable compassion toward others (excepting those who abused me. I'm not ready for that yet). My compassion for most people and animals is one of the traits I have that I value and without having been mistreated, I am not sure I'd have been so eager and willing to help others in need. I have done a lot in that direction.</p><p></p><p>Another is my non-conformity. I do not try to fit in with particular crowds just because "everyone does it." If I feel like wearing my doggy pajama pants outdoors in the winter, I do. They're warm and cozy and soft and I often wear pajama bottoms in the winter. Nobody seems to stare at me like I'm that odd, but who knows? I don't care. I go outside without makeup and don't care too. Why spend hours on my face? Why does anybody? I look how I look. If you don't like it...bite me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I seperated from my family due to them, but they did me a favor. I built a really cool family who did not experience thier crapola values. And I like my values. I do not know what I'd be like if I'd have been enmeshed with the rest of them and I don't want to know.</p><p></p><p>By moving on, I mean emotionally. Fight hard against those voices in your head. Stop giving compassion to those who had none for us or were just using us. Walk our own path with nobody in the way to trip us up.</p><p></p><p>Dare to think, "Except for those who make and honor the laws of the land, nobody can tell me how to live. I am free."</p><p></p><p>It's all about freedom.</p><p></p><p>Does this make any sense?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 664294, member: 1550"] Oh, I never meant to stop exploring or letting them back in or forgiving. I don't get the concept of forgiveness as it has been defined in some religions. I can not neutralize and wipe out what they did to me when they have no remorse. I can't and won't and don't feel bad or worse about myself for that. I just wondered if there is a time to move on. I think there is. But that doesn't mean we forget what happened. It colors who we are. Maybe we should write down the good things that came out of unloving mothers. With me, I developed a very strong social conscience and an unshakable compassion toward others (excepting those who abused me. I'm not ready for that yet). My compassion for most people and animals is one of the traits I have that I value and without having been mistreated, I am not sure I'd have been so eager and willing to help others in need. I have done a lot in that direction. Another is my non-conformity. I do not try to fit in with particular crowds just because "everyone does it." If I feel like wearing my doggy pajama pants outdoors in the winter, I do. They're warm and cozy and soft and I often wear pajama bottoms in the winter. Nobody seems to stare at me like I'm that odd, but who knows? I don't care. I go outside without makeup and don't care too. Why spend hours on my face? Why does anybody? I look how I look. If you don't like it...bite me ;) I seperated from my family due to them, but they did me a favor. I built a really cool family who did not experience thier crapola values. And I like my values. I do not know what I'd be like if I'd have been enmeshed with the rest of them and I don't want to know. By moving on, I mean emotionally. Fight hard against those voices in your head. Stop giving compassion to those who had none for us or were just using us. Walk our own path with nobody in the way to trip us up. Dare to think, "Except for those who make and honor the laws of the land, nobody can tell me how to live. I am free." It's all about freedom. Does this make any sense? [/QUOTE]
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Is there a time we can and should say good-bye to our past?
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