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Family of Origin
Is there a time we can and should say good-bye to our past?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664300" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The French Soldier holds steady throughout. However he is treated by the English he never turns against himself. He never questions himself. He holds steady that he is OK and that the issue is the English.</p><p></p><p>And this is very remarkable.</p><p></p><p>Because even with my son, perhaps, especially with him, if I am unable to get him to understand, to accept my position, to understand my humanity, I have fallen apart. Although I am way better.</p><p>In the past I have believed that his inability to understand or to accept the rightfulness of my position and how he affects me...meant something bad about me. That I did not deserve more. I would become defensive. A tire in a rut in the road. </p><p></p><p>Have I, defensively, adopted an aggressive posture when I speak with my son:</p><p></p><p>Do I refuse him his dignity?</p><p>Do I assert my needs as superior?</p><p>Do I not listen?</p><p>Do I not really hear him?</p><p>Do I hear only my own voice?</p><p>Do I take ownership over solving his problems, as if to assert they are mine to resolve?</p><p>Have I acted in such a way as to disrespect my son? </p><p>Do I assume that I have rights to take over his interests as if they were my own?</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>If</em> I look at my communications with my son of late. With honesty. Accepting that he refuses to hear one word of what I say. I am forced to ask myself a question.</p><p></p><p>Am I an English Pig Dog when I speak to my son?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664300, member: 18958"] The French Soldier holds steady throughout. However he is treated by the English he never turns against himself. He never questions himself. He holds steady that he is OK and that the issue is the English. And this is very remarkable. Because even with my son, perhaps, especially with him, if I am unable to get him to understand, to accept my position, to understand my humanity, I have fallen apart. Although I am way better. In the past I have believed that his inability to understand or to accept the rightfulness of my position and how he affects me...meant something bad about me. That I did not deserve more. I would become defensive. A tire in a rut in the road. Have I, defensively, adopted an aggressive posture when I speak with my son: Do I refuse him his dignity? Do I assert my needs as superior? Do I not listen? Do I not really hear him? Do I hear only my own voice? Do I take ownership over solving his problems, as if to assert they are mine to resolve? Have I acted in such a way as to disrespect my son? Do I assume that I have rights to take over his interests as if they were my own? [I] If[/I] I look at my communications with my son of late. With honesty. Accepting that he refuses to hear one word of what I say. I am forced to ask myself a question. Am I an English Pig Dog when I speak to my son? [/QUOTE]
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Is there a time we can and should say good-bye to our past?
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