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General Parenting
Is there anything as too savvy ... to calm
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 34794" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm always wary if a doctor tells me I'm remarkably calm, or unbelievably together. I tend to focus on the word "unbelievable" and wonder about their scepticism. I've had reason to - difficult child 1's first pediatrician had some very weird ideas which took their time to sow on my radar screen. He was fascinated with my refusal to react or get angry with him and he kept trying to push my buttons. He then interpreted my lack of reaction as depression, which it was really caution and a refusal to be distracted. I've seen too many mothers allow anger to totally deflect them from their main purpose.</p><p></p><p>This pediatrician of difficult child 1's finally became dangerous, in my opinion, when he used difficult child 1's medication level as a trigger to see how I would react. When I tried to cut through his **** with, "What do you intend to prescribe?" he replied, "We could double his dosage, or halve it, or cut it out altogether - what do you want to do?"</p><p>he clearly did not have difficult child 1's interests at heart. But he had the capability of doing a lot of damage to us both, by trying to convince others working with difficult child 1 that I was dangerous and difficult child 1 was being damaged by me. Thankfully nobody else believed him and I've since found this guy has a reputation for being very strange.</p><p></p><p>But this sort of talk - it always worries me now. Just because I LOOK like I'm holding things together, doesn't mean I'm as functional as I seem. If I am forced to sit down and look at everything I have to accept and cope with, I end up a blubbering wreck. We all have our own ways of coping, and most of those ways involve a certain amount of denial. When you begin to take action on behalf of your child and pound the desks, you have to put that denial aside. So not only are you increasing your stress, you are removing one of your coping mechanisms at the same time. Maybe you can handle it; maybe you can't. But YOU are the best judge of this, not the psychiatrist.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 34794, member: 1991"] I'm always wary if a doctor tells me I'm remarkably calm, or unbelievably together. I tend to focus on the word "unbelievable" and wonder about their scepticism. I've had reason to - difficult child 1's first pediatrician had some very weird ideas which took their time to sow on my radar screen. He was fascinated with my refusal to react or get angry with him and he kept trying to push my buttons. He then interpreted my lack of reaction as depression, which it was really caution and a refusal to be distracted. I've seen too many mothers allow anger to totally deflect them from their main purpose. This pediatrician of difficult child 1's finally became dangerous, in my opinion, when he used difficult child 1's medication level as a trigger to see how I would react. When I tried to cut through his **** with, "What do you intend to prescribe?" he replied, "We could double his dosage, or halve it, or cut it out altogether - what do you want to do?" he clearly did not have difficult child 1's interests at heart. But he had the capability of doing a lot of damage to us both, by trying to convince others working with difficult child 1 that I was dangerous and difficult child 1 was being damaged by me. Thankfully nobody else believed him and I've since found this guy has a reputation for being very strange. But this sort of talk - it always worries me now. Just because I LOOK like I'm holding things together, doesn't mean I'm as functional as I seem. If I am forced to sit down and look at everything I have to accept and cope with, I end up a blubbering wreck. We all have our own ways of coping, and most of those ways involve a certain amount of denial. When you begin to take action on behalf of your child and pound the desks, you have to put that denial aside. So not only are you increasing your stress, you are removing one of your coping mechanisms at the same time. Maybe you can handle it; maybe you can't. But YOU are the best judge of this, not the psychiatrist. Marg [/QUOTE]
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