Is this a good thing for me to do or am I out of my mind?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by muttmeister, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    difficult child #2 and his wife are splitting. THey have 3 kids, ages 5, 4, and will be 2 in October. They lived around the corner from me; his soon-to-be ex will continue to live in the house (at least for now). They are both totally irresponsible. I don't much care what they do but I worry about the kids. I am old for being a grandma (I'll be 63 in December). I told them I won't raise their kids as I will be 80 by the time the youngest is out of high school. It wouldn't be good for me but it wouldn't be good for them either.

    The 5 year old begins kindergarten on Wednesday. I told them she can stay with me on school nights. I really doubt if Mom would get out of bed in time to get her on the bus. If she did I doubt if she would be organized enough to keep her clean and fed, etc., etc. She will be gone to school (we have all day kindergarten) most of the day and I can handle it. Granddaughter likes the idea. Now she wants to go to Sunday school (of course I'm glad she wants to go) but that means I will have her 6 nights per week.

    On the one hand, this arrangement will be good for her. Also, it will give me a chance to keep contact with her and the other grandkids. It will give me a chance to have a girl - both of my difficult children were boys. That will be a new experience. I'll know for sure that she gets showered, fed, read to, has clean clothes, gets her bookbag to school with her, does her homework, etc. Mom will be just around the corner (at least for now) and granddaughter can stay there when I have night meetings, trips out of town, etc.

    On the other hand, I don't want this to turn into a deal where I become the parent and they decide that, since I took her when she started kindergarten, I will then take the other two when they reach that age. Of course, I probably would if that's what they (the grandkids) needed but I'm retired (and tired) and don't want the responsibility of raising 3 kids for the next 16 to 20 years.

    Is this a good plan or should I have just kept my mouth shut and let what happens happen? Tell me I'm not crazy (or not).
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member know I would have to do it.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I think only you can decide what to do, and what you CAN do. As for the future, I'd say not to worry too much about that right now...cross that bridge when you get to it.

    Crazy? No. I dont think you're crazy at all. Do I completely hear what you're saying tho? OH yeah. Loud and clear.
  4. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I think it's a wonderful idea and if I were in your position I would do it too. Worry about the future when it comes but at least for now, you will know that this one is clean, well fed, and having a bit of stability in her life as she starts school. I'm older than you and newly retired, but if it became necessary I would take my toddler grandson in a heartbeat!
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I would probably do it, too. It's a good plan, and it will give the little one a good start in school.
  6. Mamaof5

    Mamaof5 Guest

    If it were me, I'd take all three. Just so I'd know they were getting the necessities in life. I'd do it in less than a heart beat.