AllStressedOut
New Member
Is trying to "train" a difficult child really worth all the headaches? You try to teach them social cues, you constantly get back talk. You take them out into public, you're rushing them out back home to the safe haven behind closed doors. At least everyone under this roof is use to GFGness, no explanations needed.
You try to teach them a chore, so some day they might be able to function living on their own. It takes them 10 times of doing it wrong, 3 days of constant bickering, before you sit there watching their every move trying to figure out the problem. Only to find out that they're just not putting any effort into it and this is why it takes so long to finish. Is it rediculous to insist it be done right or rediculous to NOT insist it be done right? I mean, what are we teaching them if we settle for a crappy job?
You try to explain to them the value of doing something right and doing it right the first time. All you end up with is the kid grounded or a major meltdown, or both, because not a single one of the 10 ways you attempted to persuade him to do it right, worked.
Some days it just seems easier to do everything for them. To never go out into public so you never deal with the frustration of a bad encounter. Never ask them to lift a finger because all it does is cause you more work. Why explain it, it takes forever for them to "get it" if they ever do.
Then there is a year or two down the road, when you ask them to lift a finger to do something and not only do they do it without whining, but they do it right the first time. Some days, it's hard to think that far in advance. Some days are just so damn exhausting all you can do is sulk over the here and now. The days when they do "get it" are so few and far between it makes days like today seem like so much work for such little advancement.
Today is one of my sulking days. I'm so tired of watching their every move, between chores at home or behavior in public or at home, I am always watching. Trying to make sure they're doing things well, whether its cleaning the dishes or dealing with younger kids at a birthday party. It's exhausting. I have a headache, my stomach is upset (typical reaction of mine to stress), I'm just worn down.
Tomorrow will hopefully be better. Today I just needed to vent.
You try to teach them a chore, so some day they might be able to function living on their own. It takes them 10 times of doing it wrong, 3 days of constant bickering, before you sit there watching their every move trying to figure out the problem. Only to find out that they're just not putting any effort into it and this is why it takes so long to finish. Is it rediculous to insist it be done right or rediculous to NOT insist it be done right? I mean, what are we teaching them if we settle for a crappy job?
You try to explain to them the value of doing something right and doing it right the first time. All you end up with is the kid grounded or a major meltdown, or both, because not a single one of the 10 ways you attempted to persuade him to do it right, worked.
Some days it just seems easier to do everything for them. To never go out into public so you never deal with the frustration of a bad encounter. Never ask them to lift a finger because all it does is cause you more work. Why explain it, it takes forever for them to "get it" if they ever do.
Then there is a year or two down the road, when you ask them to lift a finger to do something and not only do they do it without whining, but they do it right the first time. Some days, it's hard to think that far in advance. Some days are just so damn exhausting all you can do is sulk over the here and now. The days when they do "get it" are so few and far between it makes days like today seem like so much work for such little advancement.
Today is one of my sulking days. I'm so tired of watching their every move, between chores at home or behavior in public or at home, I am always watching. Trying to make sure they're doing things well, whether its cleaning the dishes or dealing with younger kids at a birthday party. It's exhausting. I have a headache, my stomach is upset (typical reaction of mine to stress), I'm just worn down.
Tomorrow will hopefully be better. Today I just needed to vent.