Is this difficult child-ness, Typical-Boyness, or Hypomania?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Oct 7, 2008.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    easy child spilled her guts last night and ratted out difficult child 2 for a stunt he pulled while we were away this weekend.

    I got home Sunday night and noticed that the rubber on the front of his tennis shoes was worn away. I asked difficult child 2 what happened and he said he was riding his bike down the hill and used his feet to stop himself. Okay. Don't do that anymore, and by the way, you're going to pay for your next pair of shoes.

    On Monday night we learned that the TRUTH of what happened was a bit more interesting.

    He was actually lying on his belly on his skateboard, face first (assures me he had his helmet on), going down our hill IN THE STREET and decided to see if he could go under a PARKED TRUCK!!!! And was using his toes to slow himself because he knew he'd hurt his hands if he used them...

    So ONE: I'm ****** that he lied.
    TWO: I'm horrified he rode the board the way he did, where he did it, and the whole under-the-truck part.

    So I give him my lecture on all the reasons why it's so unsafe to do all the things he did. He didn't want to hear this, he just wanted to cut to the chase and find out what his punishment would be. And he kept trying to change the subject and find out HOW I found out. I stuck to my speech and made him hear me out to the end. He did not seem terribly concerned with the possible consequences for his poor choices -- just very mildly surprised that he could have been hit by another car, collided head first into something and broke his neck, been burned by the hot undercarriage of the truck, etc., etc.

    Then husband informs me that Sunday night he caught difficult child 2 with a magnifying glass on the flourescent spot lightbulb in his room and he was looking directly into the lense! He said he just wanted to look at the honeycomb pattern on the bulb (husband thought it was a halogen, but I checked and it's flourescent, so not as bad with respect to brightness -- but STILL not a smart thing to be doing).

    And lately, he's been just taking off for a neighbor's house without permission or even telling me he's leaving the property (and he knows this is against our family rules).

    So I am a little wound up about his behavior here lately and beginning to wonder what's up with it.

    Is this just difficult child-ness? Is it typical almost-12-year-old boy behavior (I don't really remember difficult child 1 doing this so much)? Is it hypomania?

    I throw in the hypomania question because the psychiatrist insisted I try a very low dose of the Daytrana patch last week -- he said to give him about 10mg (cut a 20mg patch in half), but in truth, he's probably only getting about 5mg because it's the leftover snippet from difficult child 1's 30mg patch that I shave down to about 25mg (because 30mg seemed a little strong for him). And he hasn't done stuff like this at home since starting the Seroquel. He was being more impulsive at school in the afternoons, and I'd asked to up the afternoon Seroquel XR dose, but psychiatrist wanted to try this first.

    So what's your vote?
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    He sounds like both of my darling stepsons, who were 16 and 18 when Hubby and I got married. There is video of #2, on his skateboard, being pulled by a rope tied to the bumper of a friend's car. #2 and a friend also went over to the elementary school about 2 am and played tag on the roof. And just so you know, the best way off a roof is to jump. #1 has broken I don't even know how many bones and sprained I don't know how many body parts skateboarding. We have video of some of his more spectacular wipeouts. They also went to San Francisco just to skate down the hills, even though they had to avoid the cars.

    I vote for typical boy. Hope you have good insurance and lots of band-aids.
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Sounds like pretty typical boy stuff to me. (And I'd lie, too, rather than admit I was going headfirst on my skateboard.) Even the not listening and wanting to cut to the chase is pretty much boy/kid stuff. Would you really want to hear mom's lecture? You know you're in trouble, you know you did wrong, so get it over with -- don't give me a consequence AND a lecture, that's just too dang much. Ask any kid.
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    As the mother of a skateboarding difficult child---I vote both. I think 12 year old boys---heck, 20 year old boys, like the adrenaline rush of taking risks. It could be hypo---but I would look to more obvious signs....cluttered speech, hypersexuality, irrational thoughts. Most 12 years olds boys would not see his choices as irrational--they would think it was cool.
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I am not sure either, as it sounds like an over the top boy thing to me too.........but it also ranks up there with manic like symptoms such as thinking one is invincible.

    I think the more concerning thing is the Daytrana patch and the correlation you have pointed out to the starting of that, and the starting of his iradic behavior. That is worth journaling, documenting, and keeping an eye on. As we all know, stims for some kids that are mood labile, can make them more impulsive, moody, and more impulsive.

    Keep an eye on it, and let us know.
  6. Superpsy

    Superpsy New Member

    I vote typical boy-stuff as well...In retrospect I'm surprised I made it to 18 without killing myself through stupid stunts.

    P.S.- wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on it tho'...
  7. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    How long did it take from the moment you heard the truth until you were able to breath again? I would have gone into shock. Next time tell him that listening (really hearing) what you have to say is part of the consequence. It is amazing how surprised they are when the dangers are pointed out and they still don't get it.

    When easy child was little and I was teaching her about crossing streets, she walked out in back of a parked truck. I told her the truck driver wouldn't be able to see her and could hit her. Her response, "No he won't. He would be going the wrong way." See, trucks go forward, not back up!

    My kids are also good about downplaying dangers. They see no vehicles in the road - it will not change by the time they get there. They know if they stay flat enough, they can get under that tall vehicle - never mind that they might move on accident (of course not on purpose!). They see it is fun to ride down the street faster than the wind on a bike - the bike will do as it is suppose to and the road will remain perfect. They just don't see that things can go wrong. If it seems like it will work, they will try it.

    I am so relieved that your difficult child survived that day with no major injuries.

    I also agree with others that while this may just be normal, based on your info of recent behavioral changes, you should keep an eye on it. Follow your instincts.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I vote for typical boy too. I cant tell you how many times my heart stopped while raising my three. Of course I dont know that any of mine were actually typical!
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Ok. I must fess up.

    I did that at about age 10. Of course I was with my bro and cousin (both older and both boys). But I tried to go headfirst under a parked car. And was barefoot.

    And we didn't ahve helmets.

    I chickened out and swerved at the last minute.

    I think, unfortunately, this is a function of boys.

    If I told you all the things my cousin did you wouldn't breathe until next week. (I remember him buying hair color for his mom for her birthday at HIS age 8 - said it was because he was giving her so many gray hairs. NOT JOKING)

    I would have made him listen AND given a consequence too.
  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I still skate and so does husband so I vote Fully easy child!!! I snowboard and wakeboard though as well... any board sports!
    But I would still cringe if my child did it... maybe not husband.
  11. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Kids lie because they are trying to avoid getting into trouble. To a certain extent this is enshrined in the Constitution - something about freedom to not incriminate yourself when giving evidence?

    Yes, I'm also down on lying. That lie was understandable. Not justifiable, but understandable.

    Punishment - sorry kid, part of your punishment has to be, to listen to your parents give you a talking to. There will be a short quiz afterwards to ensure you were paying attention...

  12. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I thought you weren't supposed to cut the patch?

    Sounds like boy stuff, or kid stuff. I would have done it, but I was a tomboy and could have been difficult child too.
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Thanks everyone for your input :D I am SO glad to have you all in my life!

    I guess I'm having a hard time distinguishing between what's normal and what's influenced by medication. Perhaps because he's been so sedated on the Seroquel this type of behavior just jumps out at me as a red flag, and maybe it's not, but I will continue to watch and make notes for our appointment with the psychiatrist next week. Some of it is not typical for him, even before Seroquel. But then again, he is getting older and is bound to be pushing rules and limits at this age anyway. Right?

    CM30 -- I've been cutting patches for about three years now with no ill effects, and psychiatrist is aware and even difficult child 2's neuro was aware (though surprised). I realize that it's not an exact dosage they get, but then pill splitting isn't that precise either. So far it seems to be okay for them.