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Substance Abuse
Is this how it usually goes??
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 717923" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Goneboy, who we adopted at six, was bright and articulate and was able to explain his own attachment issues, which he fully understood and acknowledged. For him, since peers had been there for him since birth, it was easy for him to bond with them. Us, not so much. He said he tried hard, but that it didnt work. He was not rebellious, but had been damaged by his early years which were not stable and where he never had one steady caregiver to attach to. Eventually he gave up trying to be in our family. He sees snd speaks to nobody but ex, and not often and only on his terms. Ex is very detached himself...not affectionate or emotional. Maybe thats why he can deal with him in small increments.</p><p></p><p>The damage of chaotic first years is hard to reverse. Infants can literslly waste away and die (once called failure to thrive) without normal hugging, being held, knowing he/she will be fed on time, being consistrantly loved. Being exposed to substances in utero can also cause many problems, including lack of attachment and other impulsive behaviors. Alcohol damages a developing brain. It is brain damage and not reversible and impedes major issues such as common sense and learning from mistakes. Memory tends to be very poor.</p><p></p><p>Even so, your house, your rules. Period. What is okay with you? They are what daughter needs to abide by. Or she can find a way to live on her own dime somewhere else. Or apply for ssi and get community support.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 717923, member: 1550"] Goneboy, who we adopted at six, was bright and articulate and was able to explain his own attachment issues, which he fully understood and acknowledged. For him, since peers had been there for him since birth, it was easy for him to bond with them. Us, not so much. He said he tried hard, but that it didnt work. He was not rebellious, but had been damaged by his early years which were not stable and where he never had one steady caregiver to attach to. Eventually he gave up trying to be in our family. He sees snd speaks to nobody but ex, and not often and only on his terms. Ex is very detached himself...not affectionate or emotional. Maybe thats why he can deal with him in small increments. The damage of chaotic first years is hard to reverse. Infants can literslly waste away and die (once called failure to thrive) without normal hugging, being held, knowing he/she will be fed on time, being consistrantly loved. Being exposed to substances in utero can also cause many problems, including lack of attachment and other impulsive behaviors. Alcohol damages a developing brain. It is brain damage and not reversible and impedes major issues such as common sense and learning from mistakes. Memory tends to be very poor. Even so, your house, your rules. Period. What is okay with you? They are what daughter needs to abide by. Or she can find a way to live on her own dime somewhere else. Or apply for ssi and get community support. [/QUOTE]
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Is this how it usually goes??
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