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Substance Abuse
Is this how it usually goes??
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 718048" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>KSM</p><p></p><p>Just caught up on your post. I never am on here on the weekends.</p><p></p><p>I agree your granddaughter has been through a lot, BUT that does not have anything to do with the rules you set in place when she comes home.</p><p></p><p>She has it so much better than so many. She has grandparents that love and adore her and will do anything to help her be successful. All of her needs are being met and will continue to be met. That isn't so bad is it?</p><p></p><p>I wish we had not worried about making our son mad and about trying to reward him for the littlest things. We saw that as encouragement but in reality giving them freedom is not really the best type of reward initially - i.e. car etc. I think it is normal in some ways, because you see them struggle and feel they are trying so you want to reward them to encourage good behavior. But I think the reward is better for now if it is verbal as in we are proud of you, we know how hard this is, we love you etc. To be encouraging and for her to know that you have her back should be enough for a while.</p><p></p><p>She should be trying to prove to you that she is doing better and wants to put into place what has been learned in rehab. This all takes time. It's not a quick fix. The seed has been planted but it may not "take" for a while. As you know we have been waiting six years and thus far have very tiny, delicate roots.</p><p></p><p>It's just a thought of another way to look at things. Don't worry right now about how you are going to reward her. Sit back and see what she does. Do not let her control the situation. If you do, it will not end well for any of you. </p><p></p><p>This is tough stuff and there is no perfect answer. Stay strong and take care of yourself and hubby too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 718048, member: 15032"] KSM Just caught up on your post. I never am on here on the weekends. I agree your granddaughter has been through a lot, BUT that does not have anything to do with the rules you set in place when she comes home. She has it so much better than so many. She has grandparents that love and adore her and will do anything to help her be successful. All of her needs are being met and will continue to be met. That isn't so bad is it? I wish we had not worried about making our son mad and about trying to reward him for the littlest things. We saw that as encouragement but in reality giving them freedom is not really the best type of reward initially - i.e. car etc. I think it is normal in some ways, because you see them struggle and feel they are trying so you want to reward them to encourage good behavior. But I think the reward is better for now if it is verbal as in we are proud of you, we know how hard this is, we love you etc. To be encouraging and for her to know that you have her back should be enough for a while. She should be trying to prove to you that she is doing better and wants to put into place what has been learned in rehab. This all takes time. It's not a quick fix. The seed has been planted but it may not "take" for a while. As you know we have been waiting six years and thus far have very tiny, delicate roots. It's just a thought of another way to look at things. Don't worry right now about how you are going to reward her. Sit back and see what she does. Do not let her control the situation. If you do, it will not end well for any of you. This is tough stuff and there is no perfect answer. Stay strong and take care of yourself and hubby too. [/QUOTE]
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