RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
My 20 year old son is at sober living in Florida and seems to be doing okay. Doing what is required of him, working etc. He has been there since March 16th. We text almost daily and have had a few brief conversations.
He likes the place he is at and likes working but says "peeing in a cup is getting old" a few days ago during a phone conversation. When I put in my two cents he said he didn't like where this was going and wanted to get off the phone. I'm not sure why this upset me so much but I felt like it was a slap in the face somewhat since he is there because of his behaviors and bad decisions and he NEEDS to pee in the friggin cup! While I have been happy he is there and enjoying our peaceful home, I was up half the night thinking about the true meaning of what he said. Probably overthinking it I don't know.
Hubby and I have a planned trip to Florida about 2.5 hour drive away from where he is the end of April. We plan to get up early, drive to see him, buy him a nice meal, look around, shop for anything he may need, whatever and go back to our condo 2.5 hours away the same day. He wants us to spend the night there and he can stay with us at a hotel so we can "do more stuff".
We don't want to do this for a few reasons. It's expensive to stay in a hotel there; we want to keep the visit short and sweet. Sometimes he says or acts in ways that get me upset and I'm on vacation and don't need it. We like to have cocktails at night and won't in front of him right now. I think he needs to DO what he needs to DO and us being there overnight just not something I'm ready for until he really changes and who knows when, if ever that will be. As it stands right now I told him his dad will check hotel prices.
Since that conversation, we have decided we just don't want to stay overnight. I feel some guilt for this and just wondered what others think. Is this rejecting him? I don't want him to feel badly because he is trying it seems. It just all feels icky.
He likes the place he is at and likes working but says "peeing in a cup is getting old" a few days ago during a phone conversation. When I put in my two cents he said he didn't like where this was going and wanted to get off the phone. I'm not sure why this upset me so much but I felt like it was a slap in the face somewhat since he is there because of his behaviors and bad decisions and he NEEDS to pee in the friggin cup! While I have been happy he is there and enjoying our peaceful home, I was up half the night thinking about the true meaning of what he said. Probably overthinking it I don't know.
Hubby and I have a planned trip to Florida about 2.5 hour drive away from where he is the end of April. We plan to get up early, drive to see him, buy him a nice meal, look around, shop for anything he may need, whatever and go back to our condo 2.5 hours away the same day. He wants us to spend the night there and he can stay with us at a hotel so we can "do more stuff".
We don't want to do this for a few reasons. It's expensive to stay in a hotel there; we want to keep the visit short and sweet. Sometimes he says or acts in ways that get me upset and I'm on vacation and don't need it. We like to have cocktails at night and won't in front of him right now. I think he needs to DO what he needs to DO and us being there overnight just not something I'm ready for until he really changes and who knows when, if ever that will be. As it stands right now I told him his dad will check hotel prices.
Since that conversation, we have decided we just don't want to stay overnight. I feel some guilt for this and just wondered what others think. Is this rejecting him? I don't want him to feel badly because he is trying it seems. It just all feels icky.