crazymama30
Active Member
So I am notsure if easy child is just being a teen who has a brother who is very different, or ifshe is being more. I am going to writeabout a few situations and get your opinions. I just am not sure, and am not very objective about the whole thing.
So the otherday we went to Applebees for dinner. Onthe way we had to go by difficult childs old school and water the garden. Good thing, as difficult child got himself all worked up,and calmed himself down while watering the garden. easy child was frustrated, but so was I at thispoint. We get to the restaurant, and gfgfixates on a milkshake. No. We got through that one, finally ordered, andthen difficult child was playing words with friends on my phone. He found the words to spell whore andannounced that fairly loudly. At thispoint, easy child was mortified and dropped her head on the table and made more of ascene than he did. Of course when Ipointed that out (big mistake) somehow then I was blaming her for hisbehavior???
One nightabout 9:45 or so, I had just gotten difficult child settled and had crawled into bed. easy child was watching TV (she has been staying up untilI get up in the morning about 4 or 5am). She could not find the remote so she went back and bugged her brother,slammed his door, and then I had to do the whole getting him settled routineagain. I did blow up at her, told her Iwas done with her attitude and it needed to change.
Lastincident, we went to a park by the river last weekend. The plan was for difficult child to fish,easy child, her bff, andboyfriend were going to float the river. difficult child could not fish that much as they people floating on the riverstarted further upstream than I thought. He ended up playing in the water with easy child and group. It was really nice of them to includehim. He then decided he wanted to floatthe river (he is terrified of water and cannot swim). I told easy child if she kept an eye on him that itwas ok. Apparently he freaked outseveral times because he was scared, and later she told me it really embarrassedher. You know he scared of the water,what did you expect?
So a fewnights after these incidents (they occurred over the last week) easy child is coppingan attitude, being snarky about everything. She ends up going to her room and slamming thedoor. By this time I can tell thatsomething is really wrong, so I follow her and talk to her. She finally engages me and says that herbrother stresses her out and embarrasses her. She says her friends say they could not live with him. I asked her if she thought he was better thanhe was before he went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and she said NO! I completely disagree, as does his therapist and psychiatrist. Then she says something to the effect thatshe does not agree with how I parent him and that really bothers her. I told her that I was sorry, but I am theparent not her and she does not have to like how I do things and it really didnot matter if she agreed with how I parented or not.
Is thisnormal teen who has a difficult child for a brother stuff, or more? I just really dont know anymore.
So the otherday we went to Applebees for dinner. Onthe way we had to go by difficult childs old school and water the garden. Good thing, as difficult child got himself all worked up,and calmed himself down while watering the garden. easy child was frustrated, but so was I at thispoint. We get to the restaurant, and gfgfixates on a milkshake. No. We got through that one, finally ordered, andthen difficult child was playing words with friends on my phone. He found the words to spell whore andannounced that fairly loudly. At thispoint, easy child was mortified and dropped her head on the table and made more of ascene than he did. Of course when Ipointed that out (big mistake) somehow then I was blaming her for hisbehavior???
One nightabout 9:45 or so, I had just gotten difficult child settled and had crawled into bed. easy child was watching TV (she has been staying up untilI get up in the morning about 4 or 5am). She could not find the remote so she went back and bugged her brother,slammed his door, and then I had to do the whole getting him settled routineagain. I did blow up at her, told her Iwas done with her attitude and it needed to change.
Lastincident, we went to a park by the river last weekend. The plan was for difficult child to fish,easy child, her bff, andboyfriend were going to float the river. difficult child could not fish that much as they people floating on the riverstarted further upstream than I thought. He ended up playing in the water with easy child and group. It was really nice of them to includehim. He then decided he wanted to floatthe river (he is terrified of water and cannot swim). I told easy child if she kept an eye on him that itwas ok. Apparently he freaked outseveral times because he was scared, and later she told me it really embarrassedher. You know he scared of the water,what did you expect?
So a fewnights after these incidents (they occurred over the last week) easy child is coppingan attitude, being snarky about everything. She ends up going to her room and slamming thedoor. By this time I can tell thatsomething is really wrong, so I follow her and talk to her. She finally engages me and says that herbrother stresses her out and embarrasses her. She says her friends say they could not live with him. I asked her if she thought he was better thanhe was before he went to Residential Treatment Center (RTC), and she said NO! I completely disagree, as does his therapist and psychiatrist. Then she says something to the effect thatshe does not agree with how I parent him and that really bothers her. I told her that I was sorry, but I am theparent not her and she does not have to like how I do things and it really didnot matter if she agreed with how I parented or not.
Is thisnormal teen who has a difficult child for a brother stuff, or more? I just really dont know anymore.