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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 657703" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>I am still working toward this boundary. I can feel myself wanting to say that automatic "yes". I still feel badly when I do not say yes. Sometimes, I say no because I know that is the right thing from the work we do with and for one another here on the site, but I don't feel it in my heart.</p><p></p><p>But I say no anyway. And that seems to have made an amazing difference for my kids. And that feeling of having a choice about things ~ that sort of feeling that I have time to think about it as opposed to that automatic "yes" seems to be percolating into other interactions in my life, too.</p><p></p><p>I can see it is true that a person with correct boundaries would know when a relationship is unbalanced. I never even had that concept, before trying to figure out detachment and how to do that.</p><p></p><p>So maybe I will incorporate that understanding, as I continue to come into a more balanced way of seeing.</p><p></p><p>Thank you, Tanya.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 657703, member: 17461"] I am still working toward this boundary. I can feel myself wanting to say that automatic "yes". I still feel badly when I do not say yes. Sometimes, I say no because I know that is the right thing from the work we do with and for one another here on the site, but I don't feel it in my heart. But I say no anyway. And that seems to have made an amazing difference for my kids. And that feeling of having a choice about things ~ that sort of feeling that I have time to think about it as opposed to that automatic "yes" seems to be percolating into other interactions in my life, too. I can see it is true that a person with correct boundaries would know when a relationship is unbalanced. I never even had that concept, before trying to figure out detachment and how to do that. So maybe I will incorporate that understanding, as I continue to come into a more balanced way of seeing. Thank you, Tanya. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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