It CANNOT Be This Difficult!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by susiestar, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I do not know what is going on with my kids. No matter WHAT the chore or request is, it CANNOT be done as I have asked.

    I am working hard to re-create a recipe that we lost a few years ago. It is the only thing Wiz has EVER asked me to cook since he left our home. the ONLY thing.

    After much research, I got what sounded right. husband and I needed to run a couple of errands and I asked the kids to get an entire brick of cream cheese from Sam's out, to cut it into smaller pieces, and to put those pieces into a bowl and cover it tightly.

    I finally get it mixed up, which was so totally unfun and hard because I threw my back out on Monday. I cannot figure out where husband put the mixer or the blades for the food processor. So I used a wooden spoon and a whisk.

    Then the kids tell me that it wasn't a full brick of cream cheese. that they don't know how much was in it and they didn't get the other cream cheese out because, well, I haven't got a clue. Then, when I get frustrated at them, they try to tell me that I didn't say I wanted the entire brick. I call that a lie. I specifically said, and husband remembers, that they were to get the NEW brick out and unwrap it and to NOT use the already opened one.

    This has happened with every meal I have tried to plan, every chore I have assigned, and at least half of the courteous every day things.

    I want to SCREAM. I did suggest rather vociferously that they needed to try to listen, which means using their ears and closing their mouths - and now J is trying to have a hissy fit over 'never' being appreciated.

    She was already snotty with me because I told her that the very next time that I find the ranch dressing sitting on the floor in the living room it will be thrown away and we will NOT have more of it in the house. I also told her that if she pushed to that point, her father, brother and I would make sure that she heard about how we are deprived because she won't take five seconds to put the dressing in the fridge. She takes it to the living room to pour it, and then she just leaves it there for hours. I have not had ranch dressing at home in four months because I get food poisoning very easily (far faster and far more intense than most people) and I just really don't want to do that ever again.

    She thinks I am 'over-reacting' on both of those issues.

    I cannot help but wonder when her need for drama will be superseded by my need to strangle her.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    And here I thought it was my hormones. It's not. I think it's the 2012 thing. I really do.
  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Congratulations! You have a healthy teen girl!

    :itwashim3: Sorry, couldn't help that. :bag::capitulate: There are times when I feel I really lost something important when not having a daughter. And times when I'm not regretting that a smallest bit. (My older son can be dramaqueen enough to out play any teen girl if he wants to, so that helps... I guess.)

    A co-worker of mine just said few days ago that she really understands now why children are delivered in so small and cute packages. If they were not, no kid would survive to adulthood over their teen years without their parents killing them.

    Holidays are always so stressful. I hope it will get better for you.
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ahhh. I remember those years. I'm glad they're over.

    SuZir is right. This is normal, although aggravating to the nth degree. This behavior is what helps parents push (or shove) their children from the nest. (major party upon departure of the last one is optional)
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It helps to vent here. She sure does have a love of drama and it isn't tapering off.

    I actually thanked husband for not taking her with us this afternoon when we did a few errands. Why? I was looking for specific things and one stop was a thrift store. Regardless of what I tell her ahead of time, she insists that she 'needs' this and that. Most of the time it isn't an issue but lately ? gimmie gimmie gimmie

    I had to go up to Walmart this evening because I threw my back out and couldn't wash my hair. I can't life my arms high enough. As we left I saw some papers just strewn across the floor. I took a closer look and FREAKED.

    These were not just papers or index cards. These are the handwritten recipes that my Grandma gave me when I was 16. I have treasured them all this time, and have babied the box they were in for almost 3 decades. They were on a shelf of stuff for the kids to not touch with-o asking. It isn't a new rule, and Jess especially knew how much they mean to me. But the box is destroyed and several of the recipes have footprints on them.

    I had to leave with-o saying anything because I was afraid I would start yelling and crying and say things I would regret. It is esp bitter to me because just a couple of weeks ago my daughter opened the box with my Gma's crystal in it and started to use a couple of the goblets. She KNEW she wasn't to open the box. It was NOT easy for her to get to. She then hid them when she realzed I found them, and we are pretty sure that 2 of them were broken and tossed with-o her telling us. She was VERY aware of how upset i was over the crystal, and to do this with the same Gma's recipes??? I just don't get it.

    I didn't yell or scream when we came home. I simply told the kids that they were going to get the recipes and put them up and if soemthing like this happened again I would NOT restrain myself from saying ugly things and maybe throwing things too.

    I know she has to rebel, that it is normal. But to use very precious treasures from people I miss every day? That I don't get and won't ever get. I am afraid that I might beat her the next time.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    This does not excuse the behavior, but... for Jess?

    Maybe in her mind, she feels "home-bound"? Or maybe, senses that something within isn't "right" that that she won't be around as long as you think... but can't say it? Or maybe something else IS going on, side-effects from the seizures, or something else entirely...

    Extended family member had a spouse that started becoming a real PITB after many years of married life. Docs couldn't find a thing wrong. Five years later - she was dead of a brain tumour, of a type that was very hard to catch.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Hugs, I hope your day goes well....
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Sweetie, I had something similar happen with a couple of my Grandma's WWII cookbooks. The kind with substitutions, etc. that were given out with ration coupons. Grandma - and my GREAT Grandma had written in them, too. And... One of the kids decided to shred them. Yes, I had all the pieces, but... It's not the recipes, it's that they were my GRANDMA'S - and she had JUST DIED right before they did that. I so understand.

    However, I've no idea what is up with Jess. Hugs for all of you...